[ getting over his crippling heartbreaks, of course
anyway ]
Don't you think a cool guy needs to maintain his air of intrigue?
[ he shuffles through his pockets and produces a tuna sandwich, tossing it over to hien. a combination of glasses and makeup makes it hard to tell there's anything going on with the ring of his eyes—the sandwich is only partly squished. ]
You said you can't be bribed, but is anyone that infallible? I'll catch you later—!
Hien catches the tuna sandwich, but keeps his eye on Elysium until he leaves.
He finally looks down at the tuna sandwich. It's partially squished, but Hien has never minded as long as it's edible. He eats it after taking off the wrap. It's good, just like how Elysium looks with glasses.
...
There's really no denying it at this point. Hien realizes that he likes Elysium, but the thought is majorly held back by Hien thinking that it would be a disservice for Elysium to date him. For one, Hien values the friendship they have and doesn't want to ruin it. Two, he doesn't think he himself is good dating material. Three, for two people who don't know what love feels like, he hopes Elysium will find out with someone who truly loves him while seeing past the fairy tale facade. But that's just high school, isn't it? People are sometimes shallowest of the shallow and it never gets anywhere because neither party allow it to.
...
How stifling. Hien doesn't think he could live like that. He also wouldn't want things to end after a week. There's a lot of "what-if" here, and he doesn't want to get ahead of himself.
To love in any way at all would be a fairy tale itself for Hien.
He takes another bite, but the sandwich is already gone. He bites the air.
...
He starts heading back. There's a test going on today that he didn't study for. ]
[ it's a boy in elysium's class this time. it usually is, when considering the logistics of it. but life continues and so do his relationships, each one beginning in its own distinct way. that's the draw, isn't it? the chance to learn someone new, to trace unfamiliar contours and hopefully make discoveries of oneself in the process.
unlike the last relationship that could've been characterised by how relatively chaste and almost tender it was, sweetly overwhelming in its earnestness, this one is harder for the rumour mill to define. at first glance, they seem unattached: the two of them apart and casually chatting within their own circles, with nothing to suggest anything more between them. was this week a bust? did he ask him out just because he could?
but sometime between classes, hien can stumble on a little secret. in an empty classroom, tucked into the corner by the windows where afternoon light filters through half-drawn curtains, two bodies are pressed together in the shadows. only elysium is visible from the doorway, expression half-obscured. his partner's hair is dyed a muddy brown, but when elysium's eyes flutter shut, there's a part of him that contemplates a soft black. the length is just a slant wrong, but that's fine—it's close enough.
there's a moment when his boyfriend pulls back to catch his breath, and elysium's gaze drifts toward the door. their eyes can meet or they might not. regardless, something flickers across his face before he winks, holding hien's stare for a beat too long as he turns his attention back, hands sliding to his boyfriend's waist to pull him up into another kiss, deeper this time. it seems almost deliberate.
it's one way to fill an emptiness inside yourself. elysium isn't seen anywhere else that day. ]
[ Hien isn't sure whether not hearing anything from the rumor mill means that it's a good or bad thing. Not even Rion comments on it, but Hien just chalked that up to them being busy. Well, no news is good news, right?
At least that's what Hien thinks until he happens upon this scene and his face turns absolutely red. He doesn't make a sound though. He wouldn't, but he walks off and pretends like he hasn't seen anything. Seeing Elysium kiss someone like that is...
Hien decides that he doesn't like it and almost wishes that was him--almost, because he feels like he doesn't deserve it. Has he ever deserved anything good in his life? Well, he's alive.
...
The next day, Hien's class receives their test scores. Unsurprisingly, Hien's name is in the bottom quarter of the list and like usual, he doesn't bother to look at the list itself. He's called into the guidance counselor's office about his abysmal grades and academic standing. The principal was also there. While it wasn't the kind of scolding that he expected, it was still a warning.
Still, after that, the words keep ringing in his head: "Hien, what is it that you want out of life?" because he doesn't know. Hien Callias doesn't know how to answer that in any form. Sure, he likes playing games, but it's a way to pass the time. He has absolutely no interest in academics. He can't get along with others. So what can he do? Hien is a living person, but the only time when he's actually felt alive was when he got into fights or thinks about Elysium again--
...
Hien leaves right before lunchtime and is nowhere on campus for the rest of the day. He's still seen in town after school, like a delinquent who doesn't go home after school to do their homework or study, to be seated amongst family members to share a warm meal while watching TV... no, he's at the local pharmacy, looking through an aisle for ointments and bandaids. He still occasionally thinks about the scene he witnessed in that empty classroom as much as he'd like to stop and he sighs in a frustrated manner. There's an exasperated look on his face when he finds out that contraceptives are on the other side of the aisle that he's currently in. ]
[ the week does elysium very few favours with his teachers. the difference is that, on paper, he remains a stellar student. the rumours surrounding him are odd, notorious enough that they've reached faculty ear,. but it's not as though they can dictate what students do with their interpersonal relationships. and despite everything, he gets along with everyone, helps where he's needed, and never shunts work onto others. at most, they chide him not to let his academics slip and to do better about his attendance.
funny. as though that would change anything.
at some point during the week, a headhunter from the martial arts club tracks down hien to extend him an offer. mysteriously, if hien asks whether elysium put them up to it, he's met only with a baffled look and a question about why he's bringing up that guy of all people. the serial dater? they aren't here to gossip.
but all things considered, it shapes up to a fun week. maybe elysium's actually built for truancy. there's a day he doesn't show up to class at all and that's when the rumour mill once again churns as neither does his boyfriend. somewhere far from the ruckus, elysium wakes in the afternoon, groggy, limbs tangled and heavy as the world slowly comes back into focus.
… he sits up, threads his hand into hair that isn't his own.
'i saw a pharmacy down the street. i'm going to run out and grab a few things… want anything?'
and that's how he ends up in the same aisle as hien.
he's wearing a bucket hat, his glasses too, doing what he can to conceal himself. he hadn't planned on being out long, and that much is evident from the bright red marks and fading bruises that trail along the column of his neck and across his collarbones; his shirt hangs a little too loose off his shoulders, a cardigan barely holding the whole ensemble together. he also needs ointment, for reason, or at least he does until he realises he isn't alone and his attention wanders elsewhere. ]
Is that you, senior? What're you doing here?
[ even more signs: under the hat, strands of hair sticking up where they shouldn't, carelessness he hasn't bothered to fix. ]
[ Hien told the headhunter that he'll think about it and give him a response the next day, which would be tomorrow. He knew that he would have left early today and despite all that he is, he doesn't like missing appointments and breaking promises. There will definitely be a response tomorrow even though Hien has more or less decided what he wanted to do about the offer.
When he hears Elysium before seeing him, his attention snaps to the speaker. It's the afternoon and the rumors he heard today... he wonders if they're true. It should really be none of his business, but seeing those marks across his neck and collarbones and the shirt that's loose off his shoulders...
First, Hien thinks Elysium is very cute. This thought comes first and foremost. Though secondly...
He's a little shocked that he forgets to answer Elysium right away like nothing is wrong. Everything is of the usual. When he finally snaps out of it, partially lost in the sauce of remembering the empty classroom scene, he holds up a small bottle of ointment and some bandaids. It's hard to see through the bangs, but there's a very recent cut on his forehead near the hairline. It stopped bleeding, but it's hard to miss the surrounding pinkish skin that injuries often have. He seems to be occasionally changing which foot to put his weight on as he stands too. Maybe he hurt his leg. ]
Just buying some things.
[ Is he doing well? Is he being treated fairly? Hien is still wearing the school's uniform, but he takes off his jacket to put it around Elysium's shoulders. He speaks in a quieter voice. ]
[ he just watches as the gears turn in hien's mind, quietly amused. his gaze follows hien's back to himself; he only tilts his head, as though he hasn't the faintest idea what's caught him out. when hien finally startles back to awareness, elysium offers a small, innocent smile. ]
Why do that when you seem to be doing a pretty good job of it yourself?
[ he flushes, just a little, reaching up to adjust the jacket until it sits more comfortably on his shoulders. then, he brightens, attention turning fully back to hien. assigns him as currently slightly shorter… but that doesn't stop him from extending a hand to brush past hien's bangs gently to confirm what he's seeing. ]
I'm not sure how much grounds you have to speak. [ slowly, he withdraws his hand. ] But let me help you with yours.
[ Hien just thinks about how Elysium's smile is cute and nice... and red does look good on him. His attention swivels when a hand brushes through his bangs. Ah. ]
... It stopped bleeding, so I'm just gonna put ointment over it and put a band-aid. The rest--
[ Of what? That's the only visible thing because his uniform are perpetually long-sleeved. But he bites back a sigh after having that slip. Might as well just tell him. ]
Why should I listen to you if you aren't even following your own advice, then?
[ he sticks his hands into the pockets of hien's jacket. he almost nestles into the entire thing, like he's savouring the lingering warmth of it. hehe. ]
[ he notices the key, vaguely thinking hien will need it back wherever he’s headed. as nice as the warmth is, he lets out a small huff, shrugs it off, and flips it back over hien's head. die. ]
Not listening. There are benches by the back where I can help you——c'mon.
[ and now he's just going to push him right along to the cash register. ]
[ Now he has a jacket over his head. Okay!! Hien just lets that stay there for a moment before finally letting it slide off, catching it in his arms. The way he walks is a little awkward when pushed to the cash register. He sighs, forking out some cash for the ointment. bandaids and two rolls of bandages. ]
[ he gives hien's arm a yank like that's akin to rooting him in place, before making his way back deeper into the store. the cashier is probably looking at the both of them tiredly… what delinquents. ]
[ This poor cashier. Well. Alright. Hien waits, putting the cash on the counter already and receiving his bag full of items. Thank you. He doesn't go anywhere though. ]
for whatever reason, he returns with an armful of snacks… plops everything onto the counter along with one singular ointment jar. his priorities. while everything is getting totaled up— ]
We should probably get you back before the bell rings, huh? Sorry, sorry. I'll be quick.
[ Hien stares at the snacks before looking at this... ointment jar. An entire jar full?? Bro. He looks at Elysium like. Okay. He looks away from the snacks and ointment. ]
[ he gets to dressing the small cut immediately, less teasing and more concentrated now that he actually has the tools for it. he starts with cleaning.
but not allowed, huh. the one thing about being with so many different people is that he's been in or at least observed plenty of home environments, quieter than usual. ]
[ It's a little nice to have Elysium do this for him, or anyone apart from medical professionals because they're obligated to. He's so used to treating himself, so someone else doing it for him? Not out of obligation? It feels good. ]
Might sleep at the park, inside a playground tube. I can take a shower at school, since we have those in the locker rooms and I have a few change of clothes.
... Great. Can't wait to add "trespassing" on my criminal record when the owners of the house happen to find me sleeping on the bed of one of their rooms.
[ "Not really around" means they can still be around whenever, and Hien doesn't like the idea of getting caught while sleeping on a bed in a room where their son was supposed to be sleeping. Just some random ass guy in their house.
But still, the gesture means a lot to Hien. Letting into someone's house is a sign of trust, or at least that's what Hien sees it as... despite Elysium mentioning that he wouldn't be home anyway. ]
Wouldn't your boyfriend get the wrong idea even if you're not home?
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Sure, but... What are you doing every Monday that makes you late?
[ ??? ]
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anyway ]
Don't you think a cool guy needs to maintain his air of intrigue?
[ he shuffles through his pockets and produces a tuna sandwich, tossing it over to hien. a combination of glasses and makeup makes it hard to tell there's anything going on with the ring of his eyes—the sandwich is only partly squished. ]
You said you can't be bribed, but is anyone that infallible? I'll catch you later—!
[ nyooms to report to homeroom ]
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Hien catches the tuna sandwich, but keeps his eye on Elysium until he leaves.
He finally looks down at the tuna sandwich. It's partially squished, but Hien has never minded as long as it's edible. He eats it after taking off the wrap. It's good, just like how Elysium looks with glasses.
...
There's really no denying it at this point. Hien realizes that he likes Elysium, but the thought is majorly held back by Hien thinking that it would be a disservice for Elysium to date him. For one, Hien values the friendship they have and doesn't want to ruin it. Two, he doesn't think he himself is good dating material. Three, for two people who don't know what love feels like, he hopes Elysium will find out with someone who truly loves him while seeing past the fairy tale facade. But that's just high school, isn't it? People are sometimes shallowest of the shallow and it never gets anywhere because neither party allow it to.
...
How stifling. Hien doesn't think he could live like that. He also wouldn't want things to end after a week. There's a lot of "what-if" here, and he doesn't want to get ahead of himself.
To love in any way at all would be a fairy tale itself for Hien.
He takes another bite, but the sandwich is already gone. He bites the air.
...
He starts heading back. There's a test going on today that he didn't study for. ]
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unlike the last relationship that could've been characterised by how relatively chaste and almost tender it was, sweetly overwhelming in its earnestness, this one is harder for the rumour mill to define. at first glance, they seem unattached: the two of them apart and casually chatting within their own circles, with nothing to suggest anything more between them. was this week a bust? did he ask him out just because he could?
but sometime between classes, hien can stumble on a little secret. in an empty classroom, tucked into the corner by the windows where afternoon light filters through half-drawn curtains, two bodies are pressed together in the shadows. only elysium is visible from the doorway, expression half-obscured. his partner's hair is dyed a muddy brown, but when elysium's eyes flutter shut, there's a part of him that contemplates a soft black. the length is just a slant wrong, but that's fine—it's close enough.
there's a moment when his boyfriend pulls back to catch his breath, and elysium's gaze drifts toward the door. their eyes can meet or they might not. regardless, something flickers across his face before he winks, holding hien's stare for a beat too long as he turns his attention back, hands sliding to his boyfriend's waist to pull him up into another kiss, deeper this time. it seems almost deliberate.
it's one way to fill an emptiness inside yourself. elysium isn't seen anywhere else that day. ]
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At least that's what Hien thinks until he happens upon this scene and his face turns absolutely red. He doesn't make a sound though. He wouldn't, but he walks off and pretends like he hasn't seen anything. Seeing Elysium kiss someone like that is...
Hien decides that he doesn't like it and almost wishes that was him--almost, because he feels like he doesn't deserve it. Has he ever deserved anything good in his life? Well, he's alive.
...
The next day, Hien's class receives their test scores. Unsurprisingly, Hien's name is in the bottom quarter of the list and like usual, he doesn't bother to look at the list itself. He's called into the guidance counselor's office about his abysmal grades and academic standing. The principal was also there. While it wasn't the kind of scolding that he expected, it was still a warning.
Still, after that, the words keep ringing in his head: "Hien, what is it that you want out of life?" because he doesn't know. Hien Callias doesn't know how to answer that in any form. Sure, he likes playing games, but it's a way to pass the time. He has absolutely no interest in academics. He can't get along with others. So what can he do? Hien is a living person, but the only time when he's actually felt alive was when he got into fights or thinks about Elysium again--
...
Hien leaves right before lunchtime and is nowhere on campus for the rest of the day. He's still seen in town after school, like a delinquent who doesn't go home after school to do their homework or study, to be seated amongst family members to share a warm meal while watching TV... no, he's at the local pharmacy, looking through an aisle for ointments and bandaids. He still occasionally thinks about the scene he witnessed in that empty classroom as much as he'd like to stop and he sighs in a frustrated manner. There's an exasperated look on his face when he finds out that contraceptives are on the other side of the aisle that he's currently in. ]
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funny. as though that would change anything.
at some point during the week, a headhunter from the martial arts club tracks down hien to extend him an offer. mysteriously, if hien asks whether elysium put them up to it, he's met only with a baffled look and a question about why he's bringing up that guy of all people. the serial dater? they aren't here to gossip.
but all things considered, it shapes up to a fun week. maybe elysium's actually built for truancy. there's a day he doesn't show up to class at all and that's when the rumour mill once again churns as neither does his boyfriend. somewhere far from the ruckus, elysium wakes in the afternoon, groggy, limbs tangled and heavy as the world slowly comes back into focus.
… he sits up, threads his hand into hair that isn't his own.
'i saw a pharmacy down the street. i'm going to run out and grab a few things… want anything?'
and that's how he ends up in the same aisle as hien.
he's wearing a bucket hat, his glasses too, doing what he can to conceal himself. he hadn't planned on being out long, and that much is evident from the bright red marks and fading bruises that trail along the column of his neck and across his collarbones; his shirt hangs a little too loose off his shoulders, a cardigan barely holding the whole ensemble together. he also needs ointment, for reason, or at least he does until he realises he isn't alone and his attention wanders elsewhere. ]
Is that you, senior? What're you doing here?
[ even more signs: under the hat, strands of hair sticking up where they shouldn't, carelessness he hasn't bothered to fix. ]
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When he hears Elysium before seeing him, his attention snaps to the speaker. It's the afternoon and the rumors he heard today... he wonders if they're true. It should really be none of his business, but seeing those marks across his neck and collarbones and the shirt that's loose off his shoulders...
First, Hien thinks Elysium is very cute. This thought comes first and foremost. Though secondly...
He's a little shocked that he forgets to answer Elysium right away like nothing is wrong. Everything is of the usual. When he finally snaps out of it, partially lost in the sauce of remembering the empty classroom scene, he holds up a small bottle of ointment and some bandaids. It's hard to see through the bangs, but there's a very recent cut on his forehead near the hairline. It stopped bleeding, but it's hard to miss the surrounding pinkish skin that injuries often have. He seems to be occasionally changing which foot to put his weight on as he stands too. Maybe he hurt his leg. ]
Just buying some things.
[ Is he doing well? Is he being treated fairly? Hien is still wearing the school's uniform, but he takes off his jacket to put it around Elysium's shoulders. He speaks in a quieter voice. ]
... Take care of yourself.
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Why do that when you seem to be doing a pretty good job of it yourself?
[ he flushes, just a little, reaching up to adjust the jacket until it sits more comfortably on his shoulders. then, he brightens, attention turning fully back to hien. assigns him as currently slightly shorter… but that doesn't stop him from extending a hand to brush past hien's bangs gently to confirm what he's seeing. ]
I'm not sure how much grounds you have to speak. [ slowly, he withdraws his hand. ] But let me help you with yours.
[ he'll ask what happened later. maybe. ]
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... It stopped bleeding, so I'm just gonna put ointment over it and put a band-aid. The rest--
[ Of what? That's the only visible thing because his uniform are perpetually long-sleeved. But he bites back a sigh after having that slip. Might as well just tell him. ]
... they'll get better with time.
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Why should I listen to you if you aren't even following your own advice, then?
[ he sticks his hands into the pockets of hien's jacket. he almost nestles into the entire thing, like he's savouring the lingering warmth of it. hehe. ]
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My bruises are different from yours.
[ He huffs. Don't make him say it out loud... This Hien has some shame.
The pocket has a single key in it. No keyring. Just a key of regular size. ]
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Not listening. There are benches by the back where I can help you——c'mon.
[ and now he's just going to push him right along to the cash register. ]
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[ Now he has a jacket over his head. Okay!! Hien just lets that stay there for a moment before finally letting it slide off, catching it in his arms. The way he walks is a little awkward when pushed to the cash register. He sighs, forking out some cash for the ointment. bandaids and two rolls of bandages. ]
... Weren't you gonna buy things too?
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[ he gives hien's arm a yank like that's akin to rooting him in place, before making his way back deeper into the store. the cashier is probably looking at the both of them tiredly… what delinquents. ]
Wait for me.
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for whatever reason, he returns with an armful of snacks… plops everything onto the counter along with one singular ointment jar. his priorities. while everything is getting totaled up— ]
We should probably get you back before the bell rings, huh? Sorry, sorry. I'll be quick.
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... Not going back today. Already got excused.
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ignore how he asks for two bags and divvies the snacks in half tho. surely this is not something that will come up later. ]
Hmm. Excused, or—suspended?
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Hien doesn't think about the two bags, since he just thinks Elysium wants that many. ]
Excused. My mom got the call from my guidance counselor and picked me up.
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Did you get into another fight?
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No, but I'm not allowed to go home until next week, so I'm thinking about what I should do.
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but not allowed, huh. the one thing about being with so many different people is that he's been in or at least observed plenty of home environments, quieter than usual. ]
In terms of where you're going to stay?
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Might sleep at the park, inside a playground tube. I can take a shower at school, since we have those in the locker rooms and I have a few change of clothes.
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That, and I probably won't be around much this week anyway.
[ there's maybe the faintest hint of amusement in his voice. he slaps a band-aid on hien's forehead with a plop. ]
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[ "Not really around" means they can still be around whenever, and Hien doesn't like the idea of getting caught while sleeping on a bed in a room where their son was supposed to be sleeping. Just some random ass guy in their house.
But still, the gesture means a lot to Hien. Letting into someone's house is a sign of trust, or at least that's what Hien sees it as... despite Elysium mentioning that he wouldn't be home anyway. ]
Wouldn't your boyfriend get the wrong idea even if you're not home?
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continues to try and crawl out of my endfield factory
you are so strong....
LOOKS AT THE TIME
its fine I started sleeping at like 7
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