chatime | ✧ — peach iced tea.

[ they do, which is unfortunate because that way is not good.

hy are they still out here. ]

We should head back. We can talk when we get home.

[ before they get hit with their second cop of the day. ]

[ it's probably like past midnight at this point their asses need to SLEEP!!

but elysium just turns back to the wheel and puffs his cheeks out. ]

No, I need to take you to see someone…

[ but then his hand pauses before he starts up the engine. ]

Huh? Where are we?

[ how did this happen. (he made this happen.) ]

[ who is someone.... kitten??? the way none of this fixes that specific misunderstanding. ]

How should I know? You're the one who drove us here.

[ thorns does not even know where they were going. ]

[ why would they be seeing his non-existent ex thorns please

he picks up his phone. it does not power on. hm. this is such a cursed night thorns might've been onto something about their relationship equivalent of feng shui not being feng shui. the vibes are eternally bad. ]

Can you pull up G**gle maps for me?

[ thorns wonders how elysium did that with his mouth

he pulls out his phone. the battery is not much better but it will presumably get the job done. thorns had it over. ]

Where are we going?

[ this is how they find out they're in a black mirror simulation ]

Someone who can check up on you. I let them know we were coming…

[ an hour ago… he has not said anything since, but he gives thorns the address. they are probably about to d*e considering the time they're showing up, but it will be less painful than what they're going through now?

even if… he's kind of happy about it… every so often, he tucks his chin in and smiles to himself. explodes. ]

I don't need to be checked up on...

[ it's muttered, but he won't argue further, mainly because he is not driving so there isn't much he can do besides try to crash the car for real.

...

he shyly grabs onto the bottom of elysium's shirt. ]

[ the way they aren't even dating

but the smile is impossible to hold back once thorns starts hanging onto him. was his roommate always this cute…? yes.

anyway. this is how they end up at the house of one (1) angry looking kal'tist. do not ask how he knows the dean of medicine personally enough to show up at her doorstep at 2am. some things are better not to think about.

she just opens the door and waits for him to explain. ]

We got held up by traffic, you see…… then we got pulled over for suspicious activity. Does it look like we're the kind of people who'd be up to no good? I drove straight from the hospital but still ended up—

[ she looks so ready to kill him but she just sighs and steps to the side. the vibe of someone who wants to get over this so fast. ]

[ thorns follows along but he is clearly deeply confused and also double clearly confused about why they are here.

he steps closer to elysium, but it's not to be cute it's only so he can whisper to him, ]

Do you owe her money or something?

One, I don't owe her money. Two, even if I did, what would that have to do with you?

[ he pulls back, squinting at thorns in disbelief. then realisation hits, mouth forming an 'o'. ]

Oh. I guess she could harvest your organs.

[ kal'tist, visibly unimpressed with the direction of the conversation, cuts in sharply. if they don't do this now, she's kicking them out of both her house and the school. okay.

she is standing in front of a chair impatiently waiting for thorns to sit. she has various instruments next to her including a syringe… and a bottle for urine… if thorns asks if it's necessary, she answers yes. sc*en being involved explains everything. but shouldn't she be more fussy over elysium? all thorns had was a part of the supposed cure.

hm. ]

[ hmmm.

thorns will just sit down in the chair, looking between her and elysium. ]

If you take my organs can I look at them first?

[ he is... intrigued by the idea.

this is not the reaction one should have. ]

[ he would not be alive to look at his organs if that were the case, so no. this also shouldn't be the response to that reaction but here they are.

elysium tries to be subtle about his fretting but ends up hovering a short distance away. at this point, kal'tist's already performed an overview of his external condition and moves on to draw blood. ]

He's fragile. Remember to be careful with him.

[ she pretends she does not hear him. if she were petty, she'd pretend to struggle to find thorns' veins but she does not. once again, it is 2am. ]

I'm not fragile.

[ she did not ask nor does she care. but thorns will watch as she does this instead of looking away like everyone else does. ]

Can I keep a blood sample?

[ OKAY. ]

You got sick this easily and you're still saying that? No way.

[ but kal'tist also shoots him down incredibly fast. if he wants his own blood sample he has two hands (this is not what the dean of medicine should say). elysium just looks aghast and tells her not to encourage this??

they do not need another sc*en. do not be tempted by human experimentation… ]

[ but thorns wants his sample now when the poison inside of him is still fresh... he doesn't have the proper tools to extract it at their apartment...

he looks at elysium. ]

We need to stop by the school after this.

[ WHAT TIME IS IT ]

I don't think we should be talking about breaking in and entering in front of a dean, Thorns……

[ he looks away. their honeymoon period in this au lasted five minutes.

still, it wasn't an explicit no?

before they can be any more stupid than they already have been, kal'tist thrusts the urine bottle into thorns' hands. there is a bottle of water if he really needs it… go… get out of her sight… ]

[ he sighs... okay... and then wanders off.

this may take longer than it should because he doesn't know where the bathroom is so he spends several minutes just opening wrong doors before he finds it. ]

[ well. at least they can hear the opening and closing of doors so they don't have to start wondering if thorns is having trouble putting out.

while thorns is taking care of that, kal'tist just looks at him… he looks at her back… this is the second most awkward moment of his life today but he will not yield. ]

[ fucking help

thorns will eventually return and glance between them. he holds up his pee. ]

Where do I put this.

[ kal'tist just points to the closest table. now go

he does not have to be stared down for any longer to get the hint. elysium takes thorns' hands and skeddadles. in the time between thorns had been gone and now, elysium has gotten a semblance of a diagnosis… the concept of one.

he is not actively dying! so that's good enough for the time being. ]

[ this is like the least romantic night of all time. what is happening here.

thorns follows after them, and as soon as they're outside, ]

I'll take us to the school.

[ he was serious. ]

[ it is one of those moments where elysium wonders why he likes him? they're both sick!!!!!!!!!!!!! does he want sc*en's research that bad?

elysium looks at him in disbelief. ]

How are you getting in? Are you picking locks? There are cameras at every entrance, bro!

I have a key.

[ why does he have a key.

still, he looks at elysium for a moment before sighing and shaking his head. ]

No, let's go home. You need to rest.

[ two threads where thorns tries to get elysium to sleep for very different reasons ]

Why do you—…

[ he sighs, similarly to thorns. this is what they're going to remember when they think about the day they confessed their feelings. lovely. ]

Nevermind. Just get in.

[ he's going to take the driver's seat. if thorns does not fight him on this, he might note… this is not the direction to home? crazy. they'll end up at the school. ]

[ OKAY.

thorns is once again wondering if elysium is going crazy from the illness... he has no sense of time or direction, it seems. ]

Why did you come here?

[ elysium was the one against it!! ]

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