chatime | ✧ — peach iced tea.

Can you pet him? The medicine I'm about to give him will taste bad.

[ the pets can be a distraction...

thorns decides he must be better at feeding his child than this farm was. it was not the farm that did this. ]

[ HE JUST WANTED TO WEEN DOCYBARA OFF OF QUESTIONABLE DRUGS!!!!!!! their child would get grumpy when he didn't get his next hit…

elysium watches this unfold and nods solemnly, primarily focusing on rubbing docybara's belly. ]

If the medicine doesn't end up working out, I found laxatives.

[ docybara may not know what they are, but he does not like the sound of it. he lets out another pitiful whine, quieting only when elysium rubs him more insistently. ]

Shh, shh. We're doing our best so you'll feel better.

[ their child is spoiled ]

[ they are such good parents as long as you ignore that they've abandoned every other child and also that it's their fault this is happening.

thorns nods solemnly... they have to do what they have to do. ]

We can at least start grabbing the things we need from here for now to make leaving easier later.

It'd be pretty awkward to say bye if we end up not leaving tonight. [ … ] But yeah, there are things we can probably get done without looking too suspicious.

[ tears up. ]

Did you want to keep watch of the Doctor?

At least until he seems well enough to move around.

[ he should be fine if he can toddle back into the barn and rest... thorns pats him on the head. ]

I should check how much medicine we have when we go back...

[ elysium tries to leave only for docybara to start whining again. he settles back down.

… ]

I don't think we should be enabling this behaviour.

[ docybara will also get upsetti whenever thorns stops petting. it now associates being sick with getting pampered. ]

[ why is docybara a mastermind

thorns is wondering if he should knock their child out again because it worked so well the first time. yes that first instance is what eventually lead to this but, again, thorns is not aware of that so it doesn't count. ]

I didn't know fatherhood was so difficult.

[ animals are masters at recognising patterns? and docybara has started noticing a few correlations in behaviour here. hmmmm. ]

Yeah? How about we be uncles instead? I get the feeling you'd prefer that.

[ THEY CAN'T JUST CHANGE THEIR RELATIONSHIPS TO THINGS ON WHIM ]

[ they're doing this in front of the baby as well. they can never reach docybara to understand them.

he continues patting... ]

We already called ourselves parents.

[ this also assumes there are people they can foist docybara on during their travels, effectively acting as his guardians at any given time. this argument is so flawed. ]

Do you think we weren't ready?

[ … ]

We didn't even raise him from the start. That sounds more like it—his first parents failed him.

[ okay ]

[ thorns is accepting this explanation despite it not making any sense, but in his mind elysium has a point? it sounds right?

they didn't give birth to this burdenbeast... ]

That's true. I guess we're uncles.

[ thorns' uni would be the most perfect uni out there (six-star delicacies)

but they aren't thorns' uni so elysium just nods sagely. ]

Born to be uncles, forced to be parents. Still, it'd be an entirely different story if you had our children. I know this for sure.

[ he says this despite being wholly unconvinced of thorns' parenting skills now. he can more than compensate for thorns' failings? (no)

do not think too deeply about this. ]

[ he's nodding his head along. so true? so true.

the doctor is starting to get sleepy from all the pets, which is a.... good sign? maybe? maybe the baby can finally rest. ]

... A chicken next.

[ this has been such a long detour and all because they're stupid. docybara doesn't know he can no longer be the favoured child ever. ]

We'll have to raise them from incubation.

[ nods some more. THIS IS EXCESSIVE ]

[ he nods slowly, while still patting. ]

Yeah. [ ... ] Come on, Doctor. Let's get you back to the barn.

[ he needs his beauty rest... ]

[ elysium just watches thorns go… dissociating from his role in this disaster…

he'll just go and put away the medicines they didn't end up using and pocketing what they might. when thorns returns, he'll find elysium and the farmer engaged in conversation. ]

[ it was such a struggle to leave because the doctor wanted more pets... life is cruel.

but thorns will walk over to join them. he never once considers this might be a private conversation because he doesn't think those exist between other people and them anymore. ]

[

elysium's covering his bases and asking if docybara's been getting into food he shouldn't be. elysium is such an earnest worker that he doesn't question this at all?

in a few weeks he might belatedly realise it's impossible, but by then they should be long gone… the mystery can never be solved.

but much like private conversations no longer exist, nor does public decorum. he naturally pulls thorns in his arms as they continue talking, patting thorns' head to express what a good job he's done and is doing (by being right here). ]

[ they are so annoying, everything was easier when they were shy. maybe not easier for them specifically but for everyone else around them.

thorns leans against him, pleased. he is convinced that the farmer is definitely letting the doctor into things he shouldn't be and doesn't want to admit it. he just can't prove it (he's wrong). ]

The Doctor is settling down, it seems like the medicine is working.

[ no, they've definitely made things easier for themselves by being this shameless. somehow, their relationship is doing so much better here than in an au where the world is not constantly blowing up around them and they are theoretically happier for it…?

the villagers have more or less learned to accept their peculiarities; their pda isn't exactly harmful unless you count the potential psychological scarring. the farmer mutters something about conducting an investigation to prevent a repeat occurrence, and elysium just smiles, nods encouragingly, then promptly steers thorns away. it's no longer their problem. ]

When's the earliest you think we can leave? Departing late at night has the same effect as leaving at dawn if we just wait for most people to fall asleep.

That could work. We can just come back and check on him in a few hours and decide then.

[ that gives them some time to be gross.

well, it may be best to take this time to rest and sleep since if they leave at night, they'd probably be traveling for a bit. and while they are used to operating with little to no sleep, it might be best to not immediately jump to doing that on their journey. ]

You should nap.

[ you can take rhodes island and piracy out of the both of them respectively, but you don't just stop being a workaholic. elysium shakes his head as they toddle along to their next destination. ]

We can head back if you're feeling tired. Otherwise, didn't you want to check up on our medicine and see if there was anything we should stock up on?

[ the apothecary is an early riser. leaving thorns alone is not ideal (okay), but elysium will go for the both of them if he has to!! like this is a tough decision that needs to be made. ]

Mm, I did.

[ he looks at elysium, like he is trying to judge how well rested he appears, before deciding that they can push a nap back. it'll probably be fine. ]

Was there anything else that you wanted to do?

[ now that thorns mentions it… ]

Think we can swing the budget to get a camera? An album, while we're at it? [ … ] If we're going to constantly be on the move, I want to commemorate the places we've been together.

What do you think?

[ it's only taken however many months for elysium to accept that maybe there won't be any crazy rewinds anymore. probably. ]

[ this is such a cute ask...

it is also a little more in line to what elysium might normally do, before they went insane, and that actually makes thorns smile. ]

I think we can afford it.

[ they are purposely planning things so that they won't have to make any immediate purchases for a bit. ]

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