✧ — peach iced tea.

[boba]

this post is so clean

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[transmit]

[ scien could've been the next kitten… how was he supposed to know the extent of how psycho he was when people call thorns psycho all the time? ]

Can that guy do anything about him? He was bothering you, too…

[ instead they are now all monkeys in his circus ]

[oversea]

He can't. He can only make sure you don't get actually poisoned like what happened to you.

[ elysium would have just became a play thing in a different way and still have gone home at the same exact time as before.

thorns sniffs. ]

This is what happens when you agree to be someone else's assistant.

[transmit]

It was the best way to get to know him. I don't know how else I was supposed to get an in with someone who doesn't leave his lab…

[ and now he's full of regret. scien will want constant reports on every aftereffect, samples of his blood to check if he's developed the right antibodies following the cure, and whatever else he was meant to get from this hellish experiment.

elysium sighs. ]

… You're more hung up on that than you're willing to admit, aren't you? But you won't even ask? C'mon. Tell me you want me as your exclusive assistant and that I was the best you ever had. [ with the same arm thorns has his hand on, he nudges him with his elbow. ] Look at how many guys are trying to poach me.

[ who knew working for someone else was cheating… the more you know… ]

[oversea]

[ don't say it like that.

thorns is quiet for a moment, still trying to decipher in his head if this is flirting or not. it's safer to say it isn't, but he just thinks back to missing all of elysium's previous sighs.

okay. ]

You're not allowed to be anyone else's lab assistant. This is proof no one else can look after you. [ ... ] In my department.

[transmit]

What am I, a lost child?

[ he says this, but internally, it feels as if he's going through cardiac arrest?

actually.

he rubs at his chest a little… this feels different from the previous times thorns has made his heart do somersaults…

… ]

Who do you think got me into doing all of this? Stupid. It was fun with you, so I thought it'd be fun helping others.

[oversea]

[ he is being clingy...

thorns awkwardly lets go of elysium's wrist and shoves his hands in his pockets so it feels like they are doing something. this is the worst. didn't elysium say he wanted space at the wedding? why is thorns ignoring that so immediately... ]

Oh. Yeah, you're right. You should ask Nehan if he needs any help.

[transmit]

[ NOT ANOTHER MAN WHO MAKES DRUGS he needs to be turned off of them for his diluc arc

but that is so far from the intended response elysium immediately knows he's being misunderstood. instead of opening the car doors like he should, he turns to thorns and grabs his wrist this time. ]

What? You've got the wrong idea. I meant that if you asked me to begin with, then—

[ oh. there's his chest again doing funny things.

it's a good thing the car is right there—he ends up collapsing right against it!!! fun!!!!!!!

exploding heart reliver tech real (just kidding) (maybe) (they need to band together to kill scien) ]

[oversea]

Elysium?

[ oh

thorns isn't sure what's going on, but considering elysium is already sick to begin with, this isn't good. it'll be too much trouble to drag him to the other side of the car, so thorns is just going to open the back door behind the driver's seat and pull elysium into that one. he buckles his seatbelt for him and hurries to the front to get in. ]

Hold on.

[transmit]

[ he is very clearly struggling to speak, breaths coming in short bursts. he even tries to struggle against thorns shoving him into the backseat because now this just looks like a kidnapping? help.

and thorns is sick, too… ]

Wait. I think we just need to——wait.

[oversea]

[ thorns is not collapsing!!! also this definitely looks like a kidnapping and someone who is just walking their dog stops to stare at this.

he does pause long enough to look back at elysium. ]

What?

[transmit]

[ they wonder if they need to call the cops… their dog starts barking… ]

I think he mentioned this as one of the side effects… it'll pass. Don't look so worried.

[oversea]

[ there is a long pause.

he stops trying to get to the front so he can look at elysium properly. ]

Side effects of what?

[transmit]

[ that's a good question




he passes out before he can answer. but at least his pulse and everything else has gone back to normal…? wow. nothing to worry about!!! ]

[oversea]

[ AAAAAA

he shuts the door and hops into the back seat!!!! the bystander has indeed called the cops and gave them the plate number so that's going to be fun. thorns meanwhile just zooms to the nearest hospital. ]

[transmit]

[ do ers have normal wait times where you're at or are they also hell

because if you're breathing and have a pulse you are almost literally bottom rung in priority. goodbye. thorns will have to deal with cops and the er and scien this truly is just the worst timeline for him. ]

[oversea]

[ honestly it depends. you sometimes have a short wait and sometimes you are there forever it's like gacha

but thorns will, in fact, get pulled over so he will now have to waste a large amount of time trying to explain that he is not kidnapping the guy who is unconscious and he's taking him to the hospital. apparently the person said they watched as thorns slammed elysium against the car before throwing him inside......

tears up ]

[transmit]

[ oh… here it's a minimum two hour wait unless you are actively dying. you either low roll or lower roll tears up

it does not help the car is registered to the guy in the back but it's okay… thorns is freed eventually… at some point elysium's unconscious self rolls over and ends up on the floor. this is fine. ]

[oversea]

[ fucking shaking

they eventually make it to the hospital and thorns parks. he goes to grab elysium and is just

why is he down there. hello. time to pick him up. ]

What the hell.

[transmit]

[ thorns very bad no good terrible day continues…



a corpse can't speak so elysium is just a lump. the way dahut has tried to reach thorns or elysium about matters but because he is blocked, he can't get through… okay!

the hospital will just determine he's? sleeping? deep sleeping? they are fascinated they can't tell what's wrong. he's about to be the hospital's research subject… thorns is leaking scien's work… ]

[oversea]

[ well, scien never made thorns sign a nda so he does not give a fuck.

thorns will just mention that elysium drank unknown chemicals and that maybe they should pump his stomach to be safe. ]

[transmit]

[ HELLO

one of the nurses doesn't bother hiding their disdain. what do you mean questionable chemicals. did he eat a tide pod. there are people dying, thorns.

for their crimes (really just elysium's crimes) they are put on standby until they can do this. yippee ]

[oversea]

[ it's fine.....

thorns just keeps poking elysium to make sure he's alive. what was he about to say. side effects of what. thorns is going insane. ]

[transmit]

[ side effects of being stupid…

two more hours of elevator music later, elysium's stomach is pumped. lucky for him, he's unconscious through the entirety of it, though it does bring them into the later hours of the evening. is thorns really going to sit with him this entire time? how much school have they skipped for this. help. ]

[oversea]

[ maybe they don't have classes for some of the days tears up

but thorns does sit with him the whole time, only leaving when the nurses asks him to step away for a moment or to use the restroom. when they finally okay him to leave, they just put him into a wheelchair and thorns starts to take him back to the car...

how did things turn out this way. also the way thorns got no medical care at all since elysium was too knocked out to make sure he got looked at. ]

[transmit]

[ OKAY. that one pop team epic meme for when elysium gets up. or, when he no longer feels like ass as when he stirs, halfway through this car ride, it feels as if he's just been hit by a freight train.

he doesn't say a word when he shifts upright, but the creak of the car seat probably gives him away. he just wants to get his bearings… ]