thorns will just try to shoo the rat out of the door? he unbuckles his seatbelt and leans over elysium to try to get it out from his side. this is so stupid. ]
[ he's a sheltered kid who never ran away from home thorns probably has to kill all the c*ckroaches and sp*ders that show up too
thorns, being the closest thing he has to physical and moral support is an unfortunate casualty of elysium's weenieisms. he ends up clinging onto him, making this infinitely harder for them both, all while making this a bigger deal than it has to be by whimpering into thorns' ear. this is the least fine he's been!!!!!!! goodbye!!!!!!!!!! ]
[ this is bbbb behavior but he is not a bbbb in this timeline.
but it is indeed so much harder to take care of this while elysium is clutching him. if anyone were to pass by and glance through their window, it would appear as if they were messing around, yet in reality it is so much worse than that. at the very least, the rat does end up hopping out because all of the commotion that elysium is making is freaking it out. ]
[ he can still be thorns' bbbb… except thorns is just as much of a bbbb, which leaves them stuck as two useless bottoms together the majority of their time. good thing they're out in the middle of nowhere? imagine this happening on campus with security getting called on them. ]
You're lying. I don't believe you…
[ this is what happens when you troll one too many times. he sniffles, clutching onto him harder. thorns brought this on them both. ]
[ hello!! all thorns did was try to get the rat out, he had no control over how nimble it was... goodbye, romeo, forever. you will be dearly missed (by me).
[ he is unsure if elysium is in the right state to handle a vehicle at the moment, he might have a panic attack and kill them both over their long lost romeo. ]
[ the attack on his composure sobers him up… slightly… he peels himself away from thorns with great reluctance, eyes darting around wildly before he forces in a deep breath. then he shuts his door, hand settling back on the wheel.
thorns reluctantly sits back in his seat and puts his seatbelt back on, deeply unsure of how this night is going to end. actually every stop has been weird. can't believe they started out watching bake-off. ]
[ there were probably more than a couple of close calls when he had to swerve in and out of traffic like an insane person, leaving people behind him honking. it's fine.
they're both totally different men by the time this is over. elysium, on the other hand, looks completely refreshed. romeo who? ]
Wasn't that fun? [ he gets smacked but acts like solid rock. ] We should do that again.
[ this is how elysium becomes crazy in this threat too.
but thorns will exit the vehicle and just starts walking to the building without waiting for his bestie to catch up. he saw death so many times on the drive here... ]
[ ordinarily, this would be fine. ordinarily, elysium would be laughing all the way back to their apartment and is up until he remembers one, awful thing.
THEY HAVE SO MANY GROCERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thorns is so far away so he has to shout across the parking lot. ]
——Hey!!! Aren't you forgetting something? We have stuff to take in!!
that stop was so long ago that thorns forgot already. they should have just offered the rat some snacks to appease it... but thorns turns around and begrudgingly returns to help. ]
[ the real reason that thorns did not give elysium a proper rating is because he is not considering the "date" done until they are inside. everything since the rat freak out and the drive back is being considered for his final verdict. ]
[ his intrusive thoughts flare again. no one else in the parking lot, and they're outside the scope of the few security cameras that dot the ceiling. he could literally commit a crime and get away with it………? ]
You say that like you didn't just sabotage me. [ why does he have to defend himself. this is stupid. ] Who lured the first rat in to begin with? You practically left it an open invitation with all your crumbs.
[ okay well elysium gave him snacks to begin with but details!!!! who told him to be a mess!!!!!!!! (there may not even be a mess.)
to keep from physically shoving thorns, he folds his arms across his chest instead—totally natural, not at all defensive. he huffs. ]
Besides, what would you even know about dates, huh?
[ they are not them if they aren't making themselves other people's problems.
he continues to stare… thet could've left it at a tacit agreement that thorns is, indeed, full of bullshit but he had to provoke elysium again. ]
Oh. You needed me to say it aloud?
I don't believe you. You're two for two on not being able to tell you were being taken out on dates. And, I'm not counting the one that happened just now—not that it should even count.
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as much as he knows this rat exists, he freaks out with a yelp and a start, hitting his head on the ceiling, thereby freaking out the rat in turn.
it probably decides it wants nothing to do with both of them. ]
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thorns will just try to shoo the rat out of the door? he unbuckles his seatbelt and leans over elysium to try to get it out from his side. this is so stupid. ]
Wow...
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thorns, being the closest thing he has to physical and moral support is an unfortunate casualty of elysium's weenieisms. he ends up clinging onto him, making this infinitely harder for them both, all while making this a bigger deal than it has to be by whimpering into thorns' ear. this is the least fine he's been!!!!!!! goodbye!!!!!!!!!! ]
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but it is indeed so much harder to take care of this while elysium is clutching him. if anyone were to pass by and glance through their window, it would appear as if they were messing around, yet in reality it is so much worse than that. at the very least, the rat does end up hopping out because all of the commotion that elysium is making is freaking it out. ]
It's gone.
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You're lying. I don't believe you…
[ this is what happens when you troll one too many times. he sniffles, clutching onto him harder. thorns brought this on them both. ]
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thorns pats him consolingly. ]
It went out your door. It's gone.
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and as much as elysium would like to think about how comforting thorns is being, this is just too much. ]
If it's still there, I'm charging you for emotional damage.
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[ he is unsure if elysium is in the right state to handle a vehicle at the moment, he might have a panic attack and kill them both over their long lost romeo. ]
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[ the attack on his composure sobers him up… slightly… he peels himself away from thorns with great reluctance, eyes darting around wildly before he forces in a deep breath. then he shuts his door, hand settling back on the wheel.
they are absolutely going to die. ]
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thorns reluctantly sits back in his seat and puts his seatbelt back on, deeply unsure of how this night is going to end. actually every stop has been weird. can't believe they started out watching bake-off. ]
... I'm ready to trade seats any time.
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this is how he ends up speeding the rest of the way home :) wahoo ]
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once they are back, and presumably in one piece, thorns will reach over to smack him over the head the moment they are parked. ]
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they're both totally different men by the time this is over. elysium, on the other hand, looks completely refreshed. romeo who? ]
Wasn't that fun? [ he gets smacked but acts like solid rock. ] We should do that again.
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[ this is how elysium becomes crazy in this threat too.
but thorns will exit the vehicle and just starts walking to the building without waiting for his bestie to catch up. he saw death so many times on the drive here... ]
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THEY HAVE SO MANY GROCERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thorns is so far away so he has to shout across the parking lot. ]
——Hey!!! Aren't you forgetting something? We have stuff to take in!!
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that stop was so long ago that thorns forgot already. they should have just offered the rat some snacks to appease it... but thorns turns around and begrudgingly returns to help. ]
Tch.
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[ he shoves a bunch of things into thorns' arms. he will have to waddle. ]
Half of this is you.
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[ the real reason that thorns did not give elysium a proper rating is because he is not considering the "date" done until they are inside. everything since the rat freak out and the drive back is being considered for his final verdict. ]
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[ he gives thorns a light kick. ill-advised, given the armful of groceries, but he needs to stave off the aggression somehow before he explodes. ]
What, did you want the full real-date treatment?
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[ no thorns is counting all of it... no wonder elysium is struggling, if this is how they all go.
yes thorns made them stop there, but elysium is the reason they left the other spot early so thorns blames him still. ]
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You say that like you didn't just sabotage me. [ why does he have to defend himself. this is stupid. ] Who lured the first rat in to begin with? You practically left it an open invitation with all your crumbs.
[ okay well elysium gave him snacks to begin with but details!!!! who told him to be a mess!!!!!!!! (there may not even be a mess.)
to keep from physically shoving thorns, he folds his arms across his chest instead—totally natural, not at all defensive. he huffs. ]
Besides, what would you even know about dates, huh?
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thorns glares at him, and then he just decides to kill elysium once they are inside and he isn't holding groceries. die!!!! ]
I know enough.
[ no. ]
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for once, he doesn't rattle on at thousands of miles per hour. he only meets thorns' gaze and holds it, brow arched.
thorns, you are so full of bullshit…… but he is not saying that aloud.
at least
he thinks thorns is full of bullshit? he hopes thorns is full of bullshit? he ends up looking so intense about this. ]
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thorns stares back at him. they are really just at their apartment building doing this for no reason. at least be stupid inside, idiots. ]
Well?
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he continues to stare… thet could've left it at a tacit agreement that thorns is, indeed, full of bullshit but he had to provoke elysium again. ]
Oh. You needed me to say it aloud?
I don't believe you. You're two for two on not being able to tell you were being taken out on dates. And, I'm not counting the one that happened just now—not that it should even count.
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