[ honestly? probably. but at this point he is trying to ration what he has since he doesn't have a lab anymore, but this docybara incident cockblocked him enough to make him but his tools out.
after a while, it has learned some basic commands. will it be able to do them while not under the influence is another story, but progress can be witnessed at least. ]
we fast forward a few days to when they need to show the farmer their work. is it just him, or is docybara's temperament notably different…? he is unaware that it now has a drug dependency, but it's fine.
thorns is up. elysium just looks like he wants to be anywhere but here. ]
thorns will show off all the neat little tricks it can do, and then reward the docybara at the end. he explains to the farmer that it's like catnip? and he will bring over a supply to reward it with.
he does not explain that it is extremely more potent than catnip. no one else needs to know that. ]
[ HE'S REALLY GIVING THEIR CHILD A DRUG ADDICTION!!!!!!
elysium as the absentee father cannot say anything besidess watch in horror. this is why they all eventually disappear to get milk (no)
when they are alone and docybara is demurely laying at their feet, elysium reluctantly pats its head. thorns can no longer be trusted… he's learned something today. ]
Good work…
[ he should not be reinforcing this behaviour either but thorns looks proud of himself? he is now the guy who fixes everything behind the scenes. awful. ]
[ has elysium experienced true fear yet (docybara off his meds)…? he just looks away while this highly questionable exchange occurs, suddenly highly interested in the cloud formations in the sky. ]
It looks like it'll rain. If there is, we better get it done fast.
[ thorns doesn't know he's done something they can never recover from
but they do their rounds… everyone comments on how helpful they are… while they're doing this, elysium mentions how they'll be on their honeymoon soon. everyone's shocked, thinking they've been married for forever? they don't know they've been married for zero days but that isn't anything anyone needs to know.
for whatever reason, elysium feels like he needs to be on his best behaviour… ]
[ listen. they may be insane but they are still allowed to have things where they go 'hmmm i would prefer if that did not happen actually'
thorns just innocently swings their hand as they walk, internally pleased by how married they seem. when they get to the grocer they are greatly thanked for their help; it definitely looks like it might start pouring very soon. ]
[ wrong. elysium's going to remember the one rejection for the rest of his life.
what else he's going to remember is this: the grocer asking where thorns' ring is? he's never seen him with one, he's curious. is it so valuable that he keeps it stowed away? they are so in love there's no way he doesn't have one.
elysium freezes up so bad the grocer realises they've walked right onto a landmine.
thorns goes quiet (well, he was already quiet) before sighin. ]
I had to sell it. We were desperate for money.
[ this isn't an entire lie. thorns did in fact have to give away a ring. was it a wedding one? no. but it's close enough to the truth he manages to sound believable. ]
[ elysium is spiraling so hard and thorns didn't even need to die for him to. the two-hit combo between the hair and wedding ring realisation…
…
he's still catatonic even after thorns' explanation. in fact, he might be doing worse? why didn't they sell his ring? he needs to be more conscious of making money, doesn't he? oh god, the scenario where he has to sell his body for them to find their lifestyle might come to pass it he doesn't think of something.
[ thorns, meanwhile, is complete unaware of elysium's crisis.
the grocer comments on how terrible that is and that he hopes they manage to get a replacement ring soon. thorns nods. in reality he just wants to be able to wear the original feather elysium gave him again, but he cannot because the color does not match the dye job... plus they kind of don't want to showcase that elysium is liberi since they are in hiding.
the hubby is not doing okay. in fact, he looks even more stressed than he had been than when his hair had been eaten. isn't that sweet? he loves thorns more than his hair. ]
Can I really say I love you if I can't provide for you…?
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after a while, it has learned some basic commands. will it be able to do them while not under the influence is another story, but progress can be witnessed at least. ]
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we fast forward a few days to when they need to show the farmer their work. is it just him, or is docybara's temperament notably different…? he is unaware that it now has a drug dependency, but it's fine.
thorns is up. elysium just looks like he wants to be anywhere but here. ]
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thorns will show off all the neat little tricks it can do, and then reward the docybara at the end. he explains to the farmer that it's like catnip? and he will bring over a supply to reward it with.
he does not explain that it is extremely more potent than catnip. no one else needs to know that. ]
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elysium as the absentee father cannot say anything besidess watch in horror. this is why they all eventually disappear to get milk (no)
when they are alone and docybara is demurely laying at their feet, elysium reluctantly pats its head. thorns can no longer be trusted… he's learned something today. ]
Good work…
[ he should not be reinforcing this behaviour either but thorns looks proud of himself? he is now the guy who fixes everything behind the scenes. awful. ]
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but he pays docybara as well. good high burdenbeast! ]
Is there anything else we need to do today?
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It looks like it'll rain. If there is, we better get it done fast.
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[ he glances at the sky, frowning, before giving their child a good scratch behind the ears. ]
We can go see. You [ directed towards the baby ] go back to the barn.
[ it gets up and obediently waddles away... awwww! :) ]
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Am I next…?
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[ ...
he scratches elysium behind the ear too, because clearly that's what he meant. ]
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but that feels… nice? his feathers fluff up and he leans in even further. clearly he had been jealous of docybara. ]
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thorns leans in to give him a lil smooch before pulling away. ]
Cute.
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he is so adorable and well-meaning he just nods aggressively to being called cute he is no docybara!!!!! ]
The grocer will need help bringing all the produce in early. Let's go there first.
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thorns has learned that he can turn any bad situation (a punishment) into a good one (drug trafficking) as long as he is determined enough. ]
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but they do their rounds… everyone comments on how helpful they are… while they're doing this, elysium mentions how they'll be on their honeymoon soon. everyone's shocked, thinking they've been married for forever? they don't know they've been married for zero days but that isn't anything anyone needs to know.
for whatever reason, elysium feels like he needs to be on his best behaviour… ]
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thorns just innocently swings their hand as they walk, internally pleased by how married they seem. when they get to the grocer they are greatly thanked for their help; it definitely looks like it might start pouring very soon. ]
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what else he's going to remember is this: the grocer asking where thorns' ring is? he's never seen him with one, he's curious. is it so valuable that he keeps it stowed away? they are so in love there's no way he doesn't have one.
elysium freezes up so bad the grocer realises they've walked right onto a landmine.
goodbye. ]
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thorns goes quiet (well, he was already quiet) before sighin. ]
I had to sell it. We were desperate for money.
[ this isn't an entire lie. thorns did in fact have to give away a ring. was it a wedding one? no. but it's close enough to the truth he manages to sound believable. ]
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…
he's still catatonic even after thorns' explanation. in fact, he might be doing worse? why didn't they sell his ring? he needs to be more conscious of making money, doesn't he? oh god, the scenario where he has to sell his body for them to find their lifestyle might come to pass it he doesn't think of something.
he is officially the worst husband ever. ]
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the grocer comments on how terrible that is and that he hopes they manage to get a replacement ring soon. thorns nods. in reality he just wants to be able to wear the original feather elysium gave him again, but he cannot because the color does not match the dye job... plus they kind of don't want to showcase that elysium is liberi since they are in hiding.
he finally turns to look at his hubby. ]
What?
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the hubby is not doing okay. in fact, he looks even more stressed than he had been than when his hair had been eaten. isn't that sweet? he loves thorns more than his hair. ]
Can I really say I love you if I can't provide for you…?
[ the ring now counts as a necessity ]
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thorns was so unconcerned about the ring it takes a few seconds for him to understand what is happening here. he grabs his hand. ]
I'm fine without a ring.
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in the most strangled voice he can muster: ]
We aren't married, esposo.
1/2
closes it.
... ]
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[ they truly have been larping a married couple so hard that they just forgot they aren't actually married. oh my god. ]
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…
Our honeymoon…
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