✧ — peach iced tea.

[boba]

this post is so clean

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[transmit]

[ he'd be safer and would have more fun with thorns but the point here is to get over him by dating people similar to him.

…

it's too bad he isn't thinking that far. ]

Who knows. I thought the situation was funny so I agreed to it. [ … ] We'll see how this one time goes, I guess…?

[ but there's a more important takeaway here: ]

You haven't asked me for help since… you know, back then. I didn't even know that was an option.

[oversea]

[ the way that the proper way to get over him would be to both stop living with him and to also date someone nothing like him, but it's fine.

thorns wants to ask about scien again but they have different priorities here. thorns shrugs. ]

You're always so busy.

[transmit]

[ it ends up being elysium's turn to cram his mouth full of popcorn… this is mildly embarrassing. ]

Only because there's nothing better to do. I could say the same about you.

[ not entirely true. some things are unavoidable, but otherwise there's very little he wouldn't drop for thorns. even if he's seemingly slipped back into old habits by dragging thorns out like before, he still exhibits a degree of restraint. he has to keep himself occupied somehow… though, he does keep himself busy, not so much to avoid thinking about thorns as being active is simply who he is. ]

[oversea]

I wasn't that busy before...

[ at least, in comparison to elysium having an active social life.

he reaches for more chips instead and chews on them slowly, trying to give himself more time to reply. ]

But I guess things worked out.

[transmit]

[ their snacks are saving them from so many awkward silences. thorns made a good call on the popcorn.

they're also on judging and elysium is paying 0 attention. oopsie. ]

In what way, you'd say?

[oversea]

[ they are going to be so confused at the results.

but thorns runs out of the chips he took and wonders if it is too soon to grab more again. maybe. ]

You seem to be getting dates easily...

[transmit]

[ they literally ate dinner less than two hours ago elysium's thinking he didn't feed thorns enough… he's failed him…



they also need to go to the gym tomorrow to work this off probably ]

… Well, yeah. Why are you making it sound like a surprise? Other people have eyes.

[oversea]

[ thorns being forced to go to the gym on an off day he will k word him

he makes a slight face. ]

I don't know. I just didn't know how fast dating apps were.

[ if they ever come up in conversation he starts to tune out. ]

[transmit]

[ HE HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET HOW DOES HE ALREADY HAVE OFF DAYS!!!!

there is a pause because he genuinely thinks he's going to regret what he's going to ask. but, it is all a part of the theoretical plan to move on for real so he continues on as casually as he can anyway. ]

Do you want to try it out?

[ watches as thorns ghosts everyone ]

[oversea]

[ his off days are so important...

thorns should have seen this coming but he is still unprepared. but also, if he doesn't want elysium to catch on then isn't this the perfect method to hide feelings? it's not like he has to actually date anyone....

... ]

Sure. I guess just to see what the fuss is for.

[transmit]

[ he asked but he was still so unprepared to hear a yes………… he eats another mouthful of popcorn. they're already onto the next episode and elysium hasn't noticed. help.

… ]

I'll make you a profile for the ages. [ he wriggles his fingers. ] Gimme.

[oversea]

[ oh god actually making a profile is a step further than he was expecting to do.

he wordlessly hands over his phone, already regretting this as well but because he's scared of what elysium is going to do. ]

[transmit]

[ he wants to sabotage this so bad but he will be a good bestie… a part of him knows it'll inflict psychological damage onto himself, but he's also curious what kind of people thorns will swipe right on? people who seem like they're intellectually stimulating? older men and women?

thorns has every right to be scared because he spends the next thirty minutes working on this thing both fervently writing up his profile and cropping and editing pictures from the wedding. everything about it is a rather charitable interpretation of thorns? so charitable that it's probably more than mildly embarrassing to read through. ]

[oversea]

[ shaking

this is taking so long that thorns eventually just leans over, his headp brushing against elysium's shoulder as he peeks to see what he's doing. this is really such a bad idea... imagine people reading this and then they are forced to actually interact with thorns. ]

Did you take this long on yours?

[transmit]

[ THEIR BAKING SHOW

he just leans back until they're pressed against each other, head and shoulders aligning in a quiet fit. okay. he makes thorns sound like such a generous guy (he is!).

at some point, elysium glances up, only to realise their faces have ended up inches apart. he looks back down to his phone. he will not think about it and instead concentrates his energy where it's important. ]

My pictures speak for themselves. [ no. ] What, you think I'd half-ass yours? I wouldn't sabotage my bro like that. I told you; I'm backing you all the way.

[ he is sabotaging him just by presenting to the world a version of thorns that doesn't exist outside of their friendship, but like. he is just infinitely more stupid in this au i'm sorry. ]

[oversea]

[ he is truly just describing an entirely different person because thorns will not let other people get away with what he allows elysium to. it's fine. some people are into tsuns...?

thorns doesn't move away from him, even when he stops paying attention to what elysium is typing. he notes that he smells nice and wonder if it's the shampoo or something else. he also notes that he should not be thinking about this. ]

They'd be disappointed once they actually meet me.

[transmit]

[ other people like where is the dere in this tsun after excavating for a month ]

They just need to get to know you. And if they can’t even manage that much, then they deserve to miss out especially after it's been spelled out for them. Idiots.

[ it's not like he doesn't know what thorns is getting at. across every universe, he thinks thorns is too antisocial for his own good… but he also believes it's more of a time investment, a trust thing. anyone nice to thorns, thorns will be nice back. which isn't entirely wrong, but not entirely right, either…

the key is to be annoying. relentlessly, insistently annoying. and not just for a day, a week, or a month. who even has the patience or tenacity for that? everyone should, if the person in question is thorns. idiots!!!!!!! ]

[oversea]

[ his bias

unfortunately not everyone does though. and most of the people he gets along with are also fairly quiet in their own right, but that's probably why elysium was the one elevated to best friend status and not them. it's difficult to really open up to someone if they are also just standing there.

thorns realizes they can probably sit normally now. he still does not move. ]

Uh huh. Well, I guess we'll see how it goes.

[transmit]

[ he also maintains the proximity unfortunately ]

I wanna see who you'd swipe on.

[ he didn't do!! all this work for nothing!!!!! ]

[oversea]

[ this is going so much further than he had planned. he was going to do the bare minimum profile and idly check it so that elysium won't figure him out... but now work is getting put into this? is he expected to actually go on dates?

horrible. ]

Can you show me yours?

[transmit]

[ that is so ambitious since it would involve going further than the baseline of saying hi and into actively making plans. elysium doesn't expect thorns to get that far, but maybe he'll be unpleasantly surprised… ]

… Sure.

[ he just gives thorns his phone. besides scien, he is talking to like two other people… there are already several conversations he's already bowed out of… one of them can be the mad scientist horse girl and idk you can curse me with whoever else i'm dying here!!!!!!!!! ]

[oversea]

[ it's diluc, wow

he at least doesn't read the actual contents of the messages, but it is interesting to see. thorns should feel happy that elysium is doing his best to live life and find something nice for himself, but there's a part of him that is only reminded of what he messed up.

he finally moves, but it's not away. he fully rests against elysium. the contact is nice. ]

... mm. [ ... ] You're missing the show.

[ so is he. ]

[transmit]

[ YOU WANT HIM INVOLVED IN EVEN MORE GAY DRAMA? this is how thorns learns the existence of second lead syndrome; he's about to be the one that's terminal in this au…

regardless, he settles back as this is normal between friends. maybe not normal between them, but it's easy enough to convince himself otherwise. they slot together so naturally there's that tinge in his chest, again. ]

I think I missed an entire episode. Who got eliminated…?

[ don't think he doesn't notice what you're doing… thorns… but he just gets the sense that he's shy, so he leaves it at that, letting him breathe instead of pressing it further. why do they actually need alcohol in them to get anything done they are so pathetic. ]

[oversea]

[ the way alcohol is how [redacted] happened too, they are so deeply useless without it to jumpstart anything.

but thorns will helpfully explain who got eliminated, who was close to it, and who got star baker... all you need for a summary. the entire time he is fully aware that he should move but he has no idea if this might ever happen again, with elysium actively trying out dating. he never really saw himself as an opportunist but here we are. ]

Now pay attention.

[transmit]

[ the way thorns had to be strong-armed into being a pirate like they are just deeply useless in general when it comes to rocking the boat. in elysium's case, no problem stirring up others, though… terrible.

but so many of their moments skirt the line between platonic and not, the difference hinging entirely on context. what elysium thinks is that now that everything has been laid bare, there's no real path toward romance left, the door feels firmly shut. he glances as the top of thorns' head, then moves his gaze back to the tv. really, the ache he feels now is nothing compared to their earlier days. ]

You're surprisingly intense about this. [ except everything he sees feels like it's doomed for failure in thorns' hands. hmm. ] … What if we made banana bread? We could even add protein to it.

[ how does one screw up banana bread ]