he starts playing with his food, shifting around a piece of broccoli with his fork. at least, today's protein of choice is beef. ]
It really bothered me that I wasn't seeing you around as much. Home is where the heart is, so it should be comfortable… yeah? Feeling like a third wheel probably wasn't great.
[ the way thorns has likely used this argument against elysium before only to get ignored. should he be offended by this too?? even though the answer is simply they are so used to each other that elysium knows thorns will just accept it in the end...
there's another pause. ]
... I was busy, but I did want to give you privacy.
[ because there were times thorns was home and just locked himself in his room. ]
[ if he pays for things and puts them in thorns' arms, what's he going to do? just drop them and leave them at the register? he's too nice for that… meanwhile, alhaitham would…
this is why the vibes didn't vibe. ]
We only just started hanging out as much again.
[ this sounds so clingy but he isn't thinking about it.
in retrospect, asking thorns to get along with someone is a whole different beast than tolerating. elysium is taking mental notes. ]
[ i (2x/m) rejected my now-crush (2x/m) three years ago and now i have sit here and watch him cycle through relatioships. how do i act normal about this. ]
You think it's that simple? [ he jabs his fork towards thorns, all accusation. ] You give yourself too much credit. Who wouldn't want to date me? That, and, if a best friend was all it took to scare them off, then they weren't worth my time to begin with.
granted thorns can't blame him. in retrospect, elysium was obviously asking thorns out, but he was so used to them being weirdly clingy already that it didn't hit him that invite was different from all the previous ones at the time. hindsight truly is all powerful. ]
[ different how? … he hadn't thought that far. he never pictured their lives turning into some sweeping romance if they started dating, more like quiet proof they meant that much to each other. little would change: maybe they'd sometimes hold hands, maybe even kiss…? he wouldn't even expect thorns to be the type to say 'i like you' all that often. what mattered was that their time together would take on that extra bit of significance.
not that their friendship hadn't been special already. and, as he's come to learn, having a romance with thorns isn't the be all end all. elysium hurries through another bite. ]
But yeah. It's like I was saying. Don't even think about feeling that way. You're my best friend, got it?
wow, elysium truly did such a good job at getting over thorns. he can only nod at that. confessing would only make things awkward again, and maybe even upset elysium? the idea of realizing you like someone after they already moved on may stir bitter feelings... ]
[ is he really over thorns, when he keeps cycling through 2938493 people who are all similar to him but not quite the same, as no one would ever be able to measure up?
also hilarious that reddit advice would probably be leagues better than whatever knots thorns is twisting himself into right now. ]
Finish your food. It's getting cold. After you nearly lost a finger over it, you better enjoy it while it's still warm.
[ the problem with thorns being uninterested in listening to romantic gossip is that it means he is now completely unprepared for dealing with his own problem. the person who normally helps him with social problems is the one involved!!!
hell!!! ]
I should be saying that to you. You've eaten more of your fork than your meal.
[ has he considered consulting the second- and third- best people he'd know for this marcille and jae-ha respectively. in which there is a steep drop-off in quality after the second person and marcille herself will probably only give him advice that belongs in rose of versailles, but even if they will make his life even more hell the theory is that the journey doesn't matter so much so long as they get him to his destination.
forces you to also npc our friends' characters. i guess there is also rafayel who is occasionally spamming him with artsy birb stickers and facebook pokes for ignoring him.
[ unfortunately, no one in lads is even remotely thorns-adjacent enough for elysium to consider them dateable. which is why he and you can shake hands on not playing it. ]
You'll get your bandage wet. [ absolutely not. ] If you really want to be useful, how about vacuuming and wiping the counters?
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no subject
thorns will barter his own days later he refuses to be awake that early for most of the week. what the fuck.
for now, though, he points at elysium's food. ]
You have less than I do.
[ is he on a diet...?
thinks about all the food thorns stole from elysium. ]
no subject
he looks at his food. he tilts his head. thorns is a growing boy… ]
I was gonna have a protein shake later.
[ i hate gym bros ]
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he is weighing if he should accept this or not because he is not enough of a gym bro to be into protein. ]
... Fine.
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hmmmm
he seems to consider this. ]
We should ease you in or you'll run away…
[ muttered to himself. thorns already wants to run? thorns has entered hell. ]
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he just shoves food into his mouth. he doesn't consent to protein. ]
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Did you prefer getting your macros through chicken?
[ how could alh*itham stop him from getting four chickens again ]
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[ he is so outraged by this... internally.
but he really is haunted by the four chickens. he didn't eat any chicken for so long after they ran out. ]
no subject
[ makes it worse
he starts playing with his food, shifting around a piece of broccoli with his fork. at least, today's protein of choice is beef. ]
It really bothered me that I wasn't seeing you around as much. Home is where the heart is, so it should be comfortable… yeah? Feeling like a third wheel probably wasn't great.
no subject
there's another pause. ]
... I was busy, but I did want to give you privacy.
[ because there were times thorns was home and just locked himself in his room. ]
no subject
this is why the vibes didn't vibe. ]
We only just started hanging out as much again.
[ this sounds so clingy but he isn't thinking about it.
in retrospect, asking thorns to get along with someone is a whole different beast than tolerating. elysium is taking mental notes. ]
no subject
[ at finding love... even if thorns hates it. but isn't that what bros do? get out of the way???
he is going to end up on r*ddit reading bad opinions on how to treat in these situations. ]
1/2
You think it's that simple? [ he jabs his fork towards thorns, all accusation. ] You give yourself too much credit. Who wouldn't want to date me? That, and, if a best friend was all it took to scare them off, then they weren't worth my time to begin with.
[ give it a second to sink in
… ]
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… I could've won you over. But I had my pride.
[ there is so much less gusto in this. he chews on his fork… ]
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but thorns just eats his food... glancing over at elysium. ]
How would you have won me over?
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The same way I won over your friendship, obviously.
[ 'obviously' but he doesn't sound entirely certain… ]
no subject
[ so he just did the exact opposite thing.
granted thorns can't blame him. in retrospect, elysium was obviously asking thorns out, but he was so used to them being weirdly clingy already that it didn't hit him that invite was different from all the previous ones at the time. hindsight truly is all powerful. ]
no subject
[ different how? … he hadn't thought that far. he never pictured their lives turning into some sweeping romance if they started dating, more like quiet proof they meant that much to each other. little would change: maybe they'd sometimes hold hands, maybe even kiss…? he wouldn't even expect thorns to be the type to say 'i like you' all that often. what mattered was that their time together would take on that extra bit of significance.
not that their friendship hadn't been special already. and, as he's come to learn, having a romance with thorns isn't the be all end all. elysium hurries through another bite. ]
But yeah. It's like I was saying. Don't even think about feeling that way. You're my best friend, got it?
no subject
wow, elysium truly did such a good job at getting over thorns. he can only nod at that. confessing would only make things awkward again, and maybe even upset elysium? the idea of realizing you like someone after they already moved on may stir bitter feelings... ]
And you're mine. [ .... ] So I'll support you.
no subject
also hilarious that reddit advice would probably be leagues better than whatever knots thorns is twisting himself into right now. ]
Finish your food. It's getting cold. After you nearly lost a finger over it, you better enjoy it while it's still warm.
no subject
hell!!! ]
I should be saying that to you. You've eaten more of your fork than your meal.
no subject
forces you to also npc our friends' characters. i guess there is also rafayel who is occasionally spamming him with artsy birb stickers and facebook pokes for ignoring him.
Touché. Get to it, then.
no subject
... I can do the dishes when we're done.
[ he will make up for being useless and cutting himself. ]
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You'll get your bandage wet. [ absolutely not. ] If you really want to be useful, how about vacuuming and wiping the counters?
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[ begrudgingly agrees even though it's still a task, but it does not feel like enough.
he'll make up for it later. ]
What are you doing for the rest of the night?
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I haven't thought that far. I could pick at some of my assignments… but I'm not feeling it.
[ hmm ]
You?
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