[ thorns is currently of the opinion that elysium does not want thorns to meet his girlfriend, which may imply he does not want thorns involved in that part of his life. which makes sense? but it's still difficult to sit with. ]
[ his hidden complex where he thinks thorns will seduce his non-existent girlfriend ]
I just didn't think you'd be interested. You usually aren't about the people I hang out with.
[ sure, a girlfriend isn't just anyone, but at the same time—they're in college. a girlfriend's a girlfriend, not necessarily someone he'll marry. he can't help but wonder if his cousin warped his perspective on it a little. ]
Did you just want to say hi…?
[ this is so weird. his face is openly like, 'this is so weird?' but he's doing his best not to express it any more than that. ]
Uh. Never mind, I didn't think it would be that much of an issue.
[ he assumes if it was fine elysium would just say sure and take them all out to lunch or something like how he'd try to introduce him to more people in the past. so clearly, the hesitation means elysium does not want this meeting to happen.
[ said a little too quickly!!!!!!! it IS and he is about to dig himself into a hole he can never get out of. but he also thinks this is the only means he can move on properly so
okay. ]
You caught me off guard, that's all. As long as you know what you're signing up for, it means I get to meet the person who manages to catch your eye. Wow… what kind of weirdo would that take? I gotta know.
[ if they're prettier than him he will die. if they're less pretty than him he will also die. he will die either way but there is one route where he will die less, although that is absolutely cope.
the ideal scenario? that he's actually het. that would instantly make him feel better about everything thank you ]
[ is this is how elysium dies in this au. he gets into a loveless marriage and spends the rest of his life pining and then i kill him… or he gets hit with hanahaki and keels over himself? goodbye. ]
You keep saying that. Should I adopt you instead? I'm not leaving you alone again.
No together forever as besties? And here I thought you were getting such a sick deal out of living with me. That was such a fast rejection, stone cold.
[ at the low, low price of rarely having restful weekends, that is. to me this would be the shittiest deal in existence.
but still, it just accentuates the fact that they only have so much more time like this together. that in of itself is a reason he should learn to let go. ]
… You really don't imagine yourself being with anyone in the future?
[ in contrast to his earlier words, he asks it quietly, stripped of his usual teasing. it doesn't have to be in the romantic sense; for all his antisocial tendencies, thorns still gets lonely like anyone else. but even as his best friend, elysium has to accept there are some things he simply can't fix or intervene in because of his own circumstances on top of it. it's frustrating. ]
[ even as a joke, even thorns is aware of how insanely awkward it would be to live with elysium while he is presumably living with his wife. it would be much easier to just put thorns out of his misery.
... but what a question. one that thorns isn't sure how to answer without making things potentially worse. ]
Not anymore, no.
[ he's sure most people would just respond with it'll happen eventually. the idea doesn't seem that exciting when he looks at what the options look like at the moment. ]
[ the idle stroking stills, fingers curling tighter into the wheel until he's left with a grip. if it weren't for the audio book still playing in the background, this would be so much more awkward. thanks, kaladin, for coming in clutch. ]
[ this is such an unsafe conversation and they still have such a large part of their drive still ahead of them. it might be better to stop talking and pretend to be asleep to get around this, but maybe if they talk about this now they can forget about all of it when they get out of this car. ]
If there's one thing I tell myself, it's that if something happened once, it can happen again—even if it manifests in a different form than what you'd expect. Our friendship is kind of an example of that, yeah? I never thought we'd start talking again, let alone sit here having conversations like this.
[ for someone who usually dodges his own problems, it's almost funny how directly he's facing this one. being with thorns again comes with its own highs and lows, but at least this madness is different from the kind they'd have in a toxic, codependent mess. there's the dawning realisation that this isn't sustainable—and unlike a version of them that might've clung to each other out of desperation, there's the real risk that if they keep going like this, his worst fear will come true: that they'll end up holding each other back from happiness.
so, he has to be better. for him, for thorns. isn't that why he wants to see his girlfriend? so he can feel comforted that he's managed to move on? ]
… I don't know if what I have now is it, or if what comes next will be, but I've decided it's a feeling worth chasing. That's all you can really do. Chase it on your own time, and if it comes, it comes.
[ his hand stills on the dial of the car radio, and after a moment, he turns it off. ]
It's nothing to rush yourself over. Nothing good comes out of being unprepared, anyway. Just know I'll be here. Whatever shape it takes, whatever you decide it is… I'll be supporting you.
thorns is aware of the irony in all of this. there is just something so funny about realizing you might have a crush on someone, and that person turning to have previously liked you but is now over you and is in fact invested in dating other people. but thorns is also aware that he is the last person who is allowed to complain about these circumstances, since it all stems from how little he minded the feelings of others that he didn't even notice what elysium had been trying to tell him all those years ago.
so, he can just suck it up and wait until he gets over this, and elysium never has to know about any of it. that has to be simple, right? ]
... I'm not in any hurry. [ ... ] But good luck. I hope you get what you're looking for.
[ it seems like elysium is actively looking for love. and whether that's just to get over thorns or because he does want to find someone special to him doesn't mattter. all thorns can do is support that decision. it's what a best friend would do... although it may be easier to get over elysium if they didn't hang out as much.
[ strangely, after unloading all of that, he feels lighter, like something in his chest has eased. his smile turns sheepish, and he gives thorns' shoulder a quick punch, half-playful, half in self-deprecation. ]
I talked big about my girlfriend, but… I don't think it's working out. [ SHE DOESN'T EXIST ] Still—! Thanks to this, I think I can finally start moving forward.
[ moving forward being him bringing someone new back every week… how did we get here… the vibe of if you do not fucking get along with my roommate i'm not dating you levels of insanity and are you dating me or youR ROOMMATE!!! phase two of romcom ]
thorns blows elysium up with his mind as he wonders why couldn't he say that about the girlfriend earlier. then again, since elysium doesn't like him anymore that doesn't really matter, but it at least could have saved them some of the more awkward lines of questioning that were thrown at them.
he also can't complain about this because he had just asked to meet the girlfriend, so it makes no sense to suddenly be against other people he might date. but thorns was picturing going out somewhere to do a meeting and not walking out into his living room to see someone on elysium's lap (delusion)
of course, he doesn't voice any of this. instead he offers a thumbs up. ]
It's cool. Just try to give me a heads up if you remember to.
thorns, meanwhile, goes back to staring out the window as he regrets every decision that brought them to this exact place. unlike elysium, thorns does not think dating around might make him move on because it takes him so long just to open up to someone to be friends.
maybe he need more... hobbies? he considers going for the modeling gig for real. ]
this does mean the rest of the ride back can finally be spent in peace. elysium doesn't have to keep pretending kitten exists just to convince thorns he's moved on, and for once, he's actually hopeful he might be able to this time, in a different way from the denial he'd had after high school. everything's out in the open, they're still friends, life is good!!
i can timeskip it to the next weekend if there's nothing else. sniffle ]
that's fine, thorns just spends the week hating everything and messaging the modeling people to ask if they're still interested in him... they say yes... so that is now a thing. ]
this is awkward. but there's no reason to immediately jump to it being a romantic interest because elysium does actually have friends. thorns puts his stuff down and then goes to grab a drink from the fridge.
[ that's fine; alhaitham is not the type to care. he continues flipping through the pages of his book without so much as being disturbed.
when elysium drops down beside him, he immediately sprawls across the rest of the couch, leaning into him and asking what he's reading. the vibe is friendly, easy. they end up talking about their classes—well, more accurately, elysium ends up talking at him about their classes, with alhaitham quietly listening even as the book remains open in his hands.
i'm dying and need this arc to end. i was going to have scien cameo but i am not strong enough? coughs up blood his questionable thorns adjacents ]
[ GOTTA GO FAST… neither of them disturb thorns on his way back to his room and it's only after that he finds out they literally have not said a single word to each other. okay. there's some chagrined comment about how he has zero social skills and isn't this kind of nostalgic…?
at some point during the evening there's a knock on thorns' door. it's elysium. ]
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he nearly bursts into tears on the spot. this is where he ends their lives except inadvertently. ]
… You want to?
[ thorns? willingly meeting someone new? hello??? ]
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[ thorns is currently of the opinion that elysium does not want thorns to meet his girlfriend, which may imply he does not want thorns involved in that part of his life. which makes sense? but it's still difficult to sit with. ]
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I just didn't think you'd be interested. You usually aren't about the people I hang out with.
[ sure, a girlfriend isn't just anyone, but at the same time—they're in college. a girlfriend's a girlfriend, not necessarily someone he'll marry. he can't help but wonder if his cousin warped his perspective on it a little. ]
Did you just want to say hi…?
[ this is so weird. his face is openly like, 'this is so weird?' but he's doing his best not to express it any more than that. ]
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[ he assumes if it was fine elysium would just say sure and take them all out to lunch or something like how he'd try to introduce him to more people in the past. so clearly, the hesitation means elysium does not want this meeting to happen.
thorns will simply never bring it up again. ]
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[ said a little too quickly!!!!!!! it IS and he is about to dig himself into a hole he can never get out of. but he also thinks this is the only means he can move on properly so
okay. ]
You caught me off guard, that's all. As long as you know what you're signing up for, it means I get to meet the person who manages to catch your eye. Wow… what kind of weirdo would that take? I gotta know.
[ if they're prettier than him he will die. if they're less pretty than him he will also die. he will die either way but there is one route where he will die less, although that is absolutely cope.
the ideal scenario? that he's actually het. that would instantly make him feel better about everything thank you ]
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[ he really does not think that scenario is going to happen, but okay.
the way everyone else is like wow elysium is head over heels and meanwhile thorns is just, 'he really got over me wow'
he finally stops looking out the window and turns to face elysium. ]
You'd just be disappointed.
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You keep saying that. Should I adopt you instead? I'm not leaving you alone again.
[ idly runs his hand along the wheel. ]
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he can't help but make a face at it. ]
No thanks.
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[ at the low, low price of rarely having restful weekends, that is. to me this would be the shittiest deal in existence.
but still, it just accentuates the fact that they only have so much more time like this together. that in of itself is a reason he should
learn to let go. ]
… You really don't imagine yourself being with anyone in the future?
[ in contrast to his earlier words, he asks it quietly, stripped of his usual teasing. it doesn't have to be in the romantic sense; for all his antisocial tendencies, thorns still gets lonely like anyone else. but even as his best friend, elysium has to accept there are some things he simply can't fix or intervene in because of his own circumstances on top of it. it's frustrating. ]
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... but what a question. one that thorns isn't sure how to answer without making things potentially worse. ]
Not anymore, no.
[ he's sure most people would just respond with it'll happen eventually. the idea doesn't seem that exciting when he looks at what the options look like at the moment. ]
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[ the idle stroking stills, fingers curling tighter into the wheel until he's left with a grip. if it weren't for the audio book still playing in the background, this would be so much more awkward. thanks, kaladin, for coming in clutch. ]
So there was someone?
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[ this is such an unsafe conversation and they still have such a large part of their drive still ahead of them. it might be better to stop talking and pretend to be asleep to get around this, but maybe if they talk about this now they can forget about all of it when they get out of this car. ]
But it's not really anything to worry about now.
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[ for someone who usually dodges his own problems, it's almost funny how directly he's facing this one. being with thorns again comes with its own highs and lows, but at least this madness is different from the kind they'd have in a toxic, codependent mess. there's the dawning realisation that this isn't sustainable—and unlike a version of them that might've clung to each other out of desperation, there's the real risk that if they keep going like this, his worst fear will come true: that they'll end up holding each other back from happiness.
so, he has to be better. for him, for thorns. isn't that why he wants to see his girlfriend? so he can feel comforted that he's managed to move on? ]
… I don't know if what I have now is it, or if what comes next will be, but I've decided it's a feeling worth chasing. That's all you can really do. Chase it on your own time, and if it comes, it comes.
[ his hand stills on the dial of the car radio, and after a moment, he turns it off. ]
It's nothing to rush yourself over. Nothing good comes out of being unprepared, anyway. Just know I'll be here. Whatever shape it takes, whatever you decide it is… I'll be supporting you.
[ elysium hinge era real ]
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thorns is aware of the irony in all of this. there is just something so funny about realizing you might have a crush on someone, and that person turning to have previously liked you but is now over you and is in fact invested in dating other people. but thorns is also aware that he is the last person who is allowed to complain about these circumstances, since it all stems from how little he minded the feelings of others that he didn't even notice what elysium had been trying to tell him all those years ago.
so, he can just suck it up and wait until he gets over this, and elysium never has to know about any of it. that has to be simple, right? ]
... I'm not in any hurry. [ ... ] But good luck. I hope you get what you're looking for.
[ it seems like elysium is actively looking for love. and whether that's just to get over thorns or because he does want to find someone special to him doesn't mattter. all thorns can do is support that decision. it's what a best friend would do... although it may be easier to get over elysium if they didn't hang out as much.
he buries the thought away. ]
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[ strangely, after unloading all of that, he feels lighter, like something in his chest has eased. his smile turns sheepish, and he gives thorns' shoulder a quick punch, half-playful, half in self-deprecation. ]
I talked big about my girlfriend, but… I don't think it's working out. [ SHE DOESN'T EXIST ] Still—! Thanks to this, I think I can finally start moving forward.
[ moving forward being him bringing someone new back every week… how did we get here… the vibe of if you do not fucking get along with my roommate i'm not dating you levels of insanity and are you dating me or youR ROOMMATE!!! phase two of romcom ]
You don't mind if I bring people back, huh?
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thorns blows elysium up with his mind as he wonders why couldn't he say that about the girlfriend earlier. then again, since elysium doesn't like him anymore that doesn't really matter, but it at least could have saved them some of the more awkward lines of questioning that were thrown at them.
he also can't complain about this because he had just asked to meet the girlfriend, so it makes no sense to suddenly be against other people he might date. but thorns was picturing going out somewhere to do a meeting and not walking out into his living room to see someone on elysium's lap (delusion)
of course, he doesn't voice any of this. instead he offers a thumbs up. ]
It's cool. Just try to give me a heads up if you remember to.
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just kidding. maybe. ]
Cool. Don't be shy about bringing anyone back, either. And if you need me to stay out? I got you. I'll even climb out the window if you need me to.
[ turns the audio back on so he does not have to think any deeper about thorns f*cking someone in their apartment
bye kitten ]
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thorns, meanwhile, goes back to staring out the window as he regrets every decision that brought them to this exact place. unlike elysium, thorns does not think dating around might make him move on because it takes him so long just to open up to someone to be friends.
maybe he need more... hobbies? he considers going for the modeling gig for real. ]
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this does mean the rest of the ride back can finally be spent in peace. elysium doesn't have to keep pretending kitten exists just to convince thorns he's moved on, and for once, he's actually hopeful he might be able to this time, in a different way from the denial he'd had after high school. everything's out in the open, they're still friends, life is good!!
i can timeskip it to the next weekend if there's nothing else. sniffle ]
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that's fine, thorns just spends the week hating everything and messaging the modeling people to ask if they're still interested in him... they say yes... so that is now a thing. ]
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on one random day of the week, thorns will come back to find alhaitham reading on the couch. elysium is nowhere in sight. okay. ]
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this is awkward. but there's no reason to immediately jump to it being a romantic interest because elysium does actually have friends. thorns puts his stuff down and then goes to grab a drink from the fridge.
does not greet him. ]
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when elysium drops down beside him, he immediately sprawls across the rest of the couch, leaning into him and asking what he's reading. the vibe is friendly, easy. they end up talking about their classes—well, more accurately, elysium ends up talking at him about their classes, with alhaitham quietly listening even as the book remains open in his hands.
i'm dying and need this arc to end. i was going to have scien cameo but i am not strong enough? coughs up blood his questionable thorns adjacents ]
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thorns is just. well. good for him? if it's a friend then that's nice and if it's a date then that is kind of fast but also nice... he supposed...
he will just try to quietly go to his room. ]
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at some point during the evening there's a knock on thorns' door. it's elysium. ]
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