[ THAT'S HOW THEY GET NENE KILLED… but this is why thorns is the best. ]
Yeah! Yeah. You get me. We'll get it to coordinate with us if we ever need a distraction, figure out if there's something we can outfit it with that'll help it in combat… then, in downtime, it could help tow fields, carry things back and forth. Maybe… it could even guard our home when we're away?
[ places it in front of their blue box ]
You're not going to get a more harmonious lifestyle than this.
[ they have such big dreams for people who have abandoned every pet they have had. granted they abandoned the chicken because the timeline had to be reset but still. thorns still plans on getting bird back... ]
Mm. You're cute when you're making plans.
[ if elysium was just sitting down and picking his nose, thorns would still call him cute. ]
I can't help it. Everything there is to do on this land, I want to do with you.
[ they haven't even returned to their post yet and they're already flirting. elysium shyly laces their hands together, tugging thorns forward for a kiss—but their pal has a different idea and tugs him back by his arm.
[ is too dramatic? is it? elysium tries to swat at it as well, except this time it chomps down and
takes a whole lot of hair with it. elysium stares as it chews through it then spits it out like a hair all, seemingly bored now that it's done what it's sought out to do. ]
thorns will just hurriedly close the distance to kiss elysium in a desperate attempt to distract him. they cannot have blood on their hands this soon into their honeymoon. ]
it somewhat works as it keeps him from attempting to end it all. somewhat, as in the next second: he bites thorns' tongue. ]
I'm a hot guy. What's a hot guy if he can't pull off any hair style? It's fine. Even now, I look great. They're meant to accentuate the person and not be the be all end all. And, yeah, wasn't I thinking of getting a cut anyway? To be less recognisable? It'll help when we go on a date in the city.
Yeah. Right. Absolutely—this just moved up the schedule, is all.
[ he is going through so many stages fucking help ]
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We can teach it tricks. Say, to charge at our enemies?
[ this sounds like such a bad idea.
but never mind this capybara is so much better than every other child that's come before it. they really just kidnapped an entire animal. ]
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thorns nods in agreement at the terrible suggestion though. ]
Good idea. [ no ] It can cover our blind spots.
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Yeah! Yeah. You get me. We'll get it to coordinate with us if we ever need a distraction, figure out if there's something we can outfit it with that'll help it in combat… then, in downtime, it could help tow fields, carry things back and forth. Maybe… it could even guard our home when we're away?
[ places it in front of their blue box ]
You're not going to get a more harmonious lifestyle than this.
[ he's so ambitious ]
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Mm. You're cute when you're making plans.
[ if elysium was just sitting down and picking his nose, thorns would still call him cute. ]
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[ they haven't even returned to their post yet and they're already flirting. elysium shyly laces their hands together, tugging thorns forward for a kiss—but their pal has a different idea and tugs him back by his arm.
elysium's mouth freezes mid-pucker. ]
We might have a problem, mi amor.
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his sleeve is so slimy now... ]
Maybe you should kiss it first and then me.
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You already like it better than me…
[ the premonition is coming true. ]
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There isn't anything I like better than you.
[ he hears a tear as it manages to eat a piece of the sleeve. ]
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it's elysium. ]
Hmm. Did you want to see me jealous? Is that it?
You're giving it a lot of attention.
[ giving it his sleeve is not attention. ]
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I don't know, you're talking about it a lot more than I am. You're the one who seems obsessed with it.
[ is elysium perhaps... trying to divert blame? ]
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But I don't have space to think about anything outside of you.
[ in the same tone thorns had used earlier. ]
I guess we have to leave it behind after all. You keep my hands and mind full.
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thorns watches. ]
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elysium shrieks. ]
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he does a halfhearted swat to get it to stop, but it does nothing. ]
You're making it feel confident.
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takes a whole lot of hair with it. elysium stares as it chews through it then spits it out like a hair all, seemingly bored now that it's done what it's sought out to do. ]
Say that again?
[ the flavour in the dye wasn't it ]
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the big baby settles down to have a comfortable sit after causing mass destruction here. ]
You still look nice.
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[ …
he starts to shake. his hand is ever so inching closer to his sword. if thorns does not do something soon there is about to be an incident. ]
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thorns will just hurriedly close the distance to kiss elysium in a desperate attempt to distract him. they cannot have blood on their hands this soon into their honeymoon. ]
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it somewhat works as it keeps him from attempting to end it all. somewhat, as in the next second: he bites thorns' tongue. ]
I'm a hot guy. What's a hot guy if he can't pull off any hair style? It's fine. Even now, I look great. They're meant to accentuate the person and not be the be all end all. And, yeah, wasn't I thinking of getting a cut anyway? To be less recognisable? It'll help when we go on a date in the city.
Yeah. Right. Absolutely—this just moved up the schedule, is all.
[ he is going through so many stages fucking help ]
I'm going to go find scissors.
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he kisses him again despite the fact that his tongue was just rudely bitten. ]
We can get the scissors when we're done for the day.
[ he doesn't truly elysium with something sharp this soon after the incident. ]
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he falls quiet and draws his hood up. he continues to shake internally. ]
My hair's going to be shorter than yours.
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thorns leans in to give him the third kiss over this incident. ]
It will grow back. And I will love every strand of it as it does.
[ so shut up. ]
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Do you have a thing for bald heads?
[ thinks about the one sticker
why doesn't thorns love his hair as much as he loves his hair ]
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thorns has no idea how to respond to this for several seconds. ]
I'm never trying to cheer you up again.
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What? Answer me.
[ his hands are now on thorns' shoulders shaking him around
imagine if there were a second set of bandits they would never get it out alive ]
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