[ he could ask elysium to try to find something normal for it to eat, but instead it's this.
the other thing he grabs from their belongings is a notebook that seems to be some sort of diary of one of theirs. could be useful, could be nothing, but it won't hurt to look through it later. ]
I don't think it's as interested in me as it is, you.
[ he feels validated? everyone should recognise how great thorns is, random animals included.
which on the note of validation, the guard is especially feeling that when they pull up with their whole crew in tow. he doesn't even keep it to himself when he remarks how they seemingly bring trouble with them… but these bandits aren't even their fault?
[ thorns completely ignores the comment because it was stupid.
he does grab elysium's hand with his non-eaten one and starts to walk. ]
We'll take this guy to the farm and leave a note, and then go back to our post?
[ he doubts anything more will happen today but they are still technically working. maybe they can finally make out but they cannot so that while he is being chewed on. ]
[ the capybara wants to be included so badly. it headbutts thorns in attempt to nearly knock him off balance, like it's trying to catch him on its snout. look how useful he is? he can carry things (thorns) on his back…
elysium considers the logistics of taking him themselves, but without a proper grazing area it's definitely not in the budget. ]
Do you think he'll let you?
[ …]
What do you have on you that makes you so popular with animals…?
[ no, it totally isn't because thorns is pure of heart. thinks about nene. bird. the fish, to a certain extent, and now this capybara. it's the drugs… ]
[ all these animals want to eat him… this is why uni is expensive.
but they get to the farm. and without breaking and entering into one of the barns, elysium just stares rather skeptically at the fencing before raising a brow at their new friend. ]
If he wanted to, he could just walk over it… [ … ] Should we tie him to a pole?
[ THAT'S HOW THEY GET NENE KILLED… but this is why thorns is the best. ]
Yeah! Yeah. You get me. We'll get it to coordinate with us if we ever need a distraction, figure out if there's something we can outfit it with that'll help it in combat… then, in downtime, it could help tow fields, carry things back and forth. Maybe… it could even guard our home when we're away?
[ places it in front of their blue box ]
You're not going to get a more harmonious lifestyle than this.
[ they have such big dreams for people who have abandoned every pet they have had. granted they abandoned the chicken because the timeline had to be reset but still. thorns still plans on getting bird back... ]
Mm. You're cute when you're making plans.
[ if elysium was just sitting down and picking his nose, thorns would still call him cute. ]
I can't help it. Everything there is to do on this land, I want to do with you.
[ they haven't even returned to their post yet and they're already flirting. elysium shyly laces their hands together, tugging thorns forward for a kiss—but their pal has a different idea and tugs him back by his arm.
[ is too dramatic? is it? elysium tries to swat at it as well, except this time it chomps down and
takes a whole lot of hair with it. elysium stares as it chews through it then spits it out like a hair all, seemingly bored now that it's done what it's sought out to do. ]
thorns will just hurriedly close the distance to kiss elysium in a desperate attempt to distract him. they cannot have blood on their hands this soon into their honeymoon. ]
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[ he could ask elysium to try to find something normal for it to eat, but instead it's this.
the other thing he grabs from their belongings is a notebook that seems to be some sort of diary of one of theirs. could be useful, could be nothing, but it won't hurt to look through it later. ]
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[ he feels validated? everyone should recognise how great thorns is, random animals included.
which on the note of validation, the guard is especially feeling that when they pull up with their whole crew in tow. he doesn't even keep it to himself when he remarks how they seemingly bring trouble with them… but these bandits aren't even their fault?
anyway. his problem now. ]
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he does grab elysium's hand with his non-eaten one and starts to walk. ]
We'll take this guy to the farm and leave a note, and then go back to our post?
[ he doubts anything more will happen today but they are still technically working. maybe they can finally make out but they cannot so that while he is being chewed on. ]
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elysium considers the logistics of taking him themselves, but without a proper grazing area it's definitely not in the budget. ]
Do you think he'll let you?
[ …]
What do you have on you that makes you so popular with animals…?
[ no, it totally isn't because thorns is pure of heart. thinks about nene. bird. the fish, to a certain extent, and now this capybara. it's the drugs… ]
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thorns thinks animals like him a normal amount and that elysium is just imagining things. but god.
he just stares at this animal... who they need to name... ]
We'll figure something out.
[ it would in fact be useful to have something that can carry things..... ]
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but they get to the farm. and without breaking and entering into one of the barns, elysium just stares rather skeptically at the fencing before raising a brow at their new friend. ]
If he wanted to, he could just walk over it… [ … ] Should we tie him to a pole?
[ that seems mean ]
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thorns sighs. ]
Let's take him with us...
[ they can always just build a better fence later? but they don't have time to deal with that now. ]
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We can teach it tricks. Say, to charge at our enemies?
[ this sounds like such a bad idea.
but never mind this capybara is so much better than every other child that's come before it. they really just kidnapped an entire animal. ]
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thorns nods in agreement at the terrible suggestion though. ]
Good idea. [ no ] It can cover our blind spots.
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Yeah! Yeah. You get me. We'll get it to coordinate with us if we ever need a distraction, figure out if there's something we can outfit it with that'll help it in combat… then, in downtime, it could help tow fields, carry things back and forth. Maybe… it could even guard our home when we're away?
[ places it in front of their blue box ]
You're not going to get a more harmonious lifestyle than this.
[ he's so ambitious ]
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Mm. You're cute when you're making plans.
[ if elysium was just sitting down and picking his nose, thorns would still call him cute. ]
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[ they haven't even returned to their post yet and they're already flirting. elysium shyly laces their hands together, tugging thorns forward for a kiss—but their pal has a different idea and tugs him back by his arm.
elysium's mouth freezes mid-pucker. ]
We might have a problem, mi amor.
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his sleeve is so slimy now... ]
Maybe you should kiss it first and then me.
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You already like it better than me…
[ the premonition is coming true. ]
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There isn't anything I like better than you.
[ he hears a tear as it manages to eat a piece of the sleeve. ]
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it's elysium. ]
Hmm. Did you want to see me jealous? Is that it?
You're giving it a lot of attention.
[ giving it his sleeve is not attention. ]
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I don't know, you're talking about it a lot more than I am. You're the one who seems obsessed with it.
[ is elysium perhaps... trying to divert blame? ]
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But I don't have space to think about anything outside of you.
[ in the same tone thorns had used earlier. ]
I guess we have to leave it behind after all. You keep my hands and mind full.
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thorns watches. ]
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elysium shrieks. ]
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he does a halfhearted swat to get it to stop, but it does nothing. ]
You're making it feel confident.
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takes a whole lot of hair with it. elysium stares as it chews through it then spits it out like a hair all, seemingly bored now that it's done what it's sought out to do. ]
Say that again?
[ the flavour in the dye wasn't it ]
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the big baby settles down to have a comfortable sit after causing mass destruction here. ]
You still look nice.
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[ …
he starts to shake. his hand is ever so inching closer to his sword. if thorns does not do something soon there is about to be an incident. ]
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thorns will just hurriedly close the distance to kiss elysium in a desperate attempt to distract him. they cannot have blood on their hands this soon into their honeymoon. ]
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