✧ — peach iced tea.

[boba]

this post is so clean

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[oversea]

This is your fault...

[ he will k*ll you

but thorns will give a halfhearted clink of his glass and then start sipping at the wine. the groom asks thorns if he's still a lightweight and thorns says no very confidently. ]

[transmit]

You said you'd lead.

[ which makes it even more thorns' fault. hello.

this just prompts the groom to ask the waiter to refill thorns' glass. he asks to cheers again to their supposed redemption arc. don't make this celebration for nothing. ]

[oversea]

[ why are they celebrating this.

thorns drinks this second glass of wine. the first glass was already a mistake because this is going over his limit of being able to handle one and a half wine coolers.

he turns towards elysium. ]

This is your last shot.

[transmit]

[ they are prematurely celebrating thorns' downfall. ]

My last shot? It's yours. Heheh…

[ sways

this bodes so well ]

[oversea]

[ this will be fine.........

the next slow is slower. thorns listens to it for a second before he wraps an arm around elysium's waist and pulls him closer until their bodies touch. ]

Don't fall.

[transmit]

[ lfndondosjsodnsodnd

good thing! he's wasted! he stumbles slightly but manages to brace himself on thorns' shoulders. ]

When do you find the time to practice like this, huh…?

[ NO ONE TO MARRY HIS ASS!!!!! ]

[oversea]

I don't need to practice when I'm already good at it.

[ this is such an annoying thing to say. anyway they can do a slow bachata dance. this is a terrible dance to do for someone who is currently super uncoordinated because it is a lot of foot work and also their bodies are very pressed against each other.

die. ]

[transmit]

[ whenever people question their friendship they just need to remember they're the same type of annoying during these instances specifically.

so, predictably, he explodes. by some miracle he doesn't trip, though it does mean clinging to thorns a little too much and dragging them into increasingly intimate positions. what is going on with elysium's relationship, people wonder? regardless, they know thorns, and so they're rooting him and his apparent sugar daddy on. when the song ends, elysium drops straight to the floor, face pressed into his knees from how warm his cheeks feel.

and then, as if nothing happened, he springs back up and heads for the table. he needs to drink enough that he won't remember this night whatsoever. thank you. ]

[oversea]

[ goodbye...

the two glasses of wine are hitting thorns now, unfortunately, so he waddles back to the bar to get another drink there because he has forgotten his plan was to pace himself. he does a shot, chokes slightly on it, and then goes back to the table.

and then immediately gets yoinked by someone to dance with them. he is helplessly dragged away. ]

[transmit]

[ if thorns is out on the dance floor, then who's supposed to rescue elysium at the table?

he's been ambushed by family, two of thorns' younger cousins flanking him, firing questions about his relationship with thorns. no way they’re just friends, right? they're too close, too comfortable, too at ease with each other in ways they aren't with anyone else—at least, in ways they've never seen thorns be with anyone else.

elysium just takes more shots as he insists they've got it all wrong. he's not thorns' type and it would be great if they stopped mentioning it—if not for him, out of respect for thorns considering he's already been rejected. and yes, he's already over him and has a girlfriend…?? the way he says this like he isn't even convinced of it himself. that's his own fuckin lie. but it's like a pin drops and they're all just left staring at each other. wow.

he's not actually sobbing miserably; he somehow manages to look put together and sound firm despite his body composition now being at least a quarter alcohol. but internally? he sure is!

but now the cousins are convinced he's dating to get over thorns. somehow, this is the closest they've ever come to the truth. they have so much pity for him… so much… ]

[oversea]

[ it's fine... the person who takes thorns is not a relative, but a friend of the couple. they are trying to shoot their shot... they ask if thorns is really not dating elysium, and then he just goes on a tangent of his elysium is going to get married to kitten... he sounds so sad when he says he has to come up with a speech. he is so drunk.

when they return to the table, the friend decides they have no chance.

thorns flops against elysium as soon as he's seated. ]

You're drunk.

[transmit]

[ this just prompts everyone to look at elysium with renewed sympathy. his life his hell. he knows. ]

No I'm not. [ stands up. he almost knocks them both over again. ] I'm your chaperone. I gotta… gotta get you home!

[oversea]

[ someone next to elysium immediately just starts saying they can't leave yet, the wedding is still going. no drunk driving...

thorns just nods, but he also stands up. ]

Let's take a walk.

[ they can go outside and get fresh air... ]

[transmit]

[ he is absurdly proud of the fact that they walked here. so proud, in fact, that he announces it aloud. realistically, once the dance floor opens, what's even left? cake?

he's just about to ask when thorns distracts him with something else. thorns is so funny. he does not know why he finds thorns so funny in this exact moment, but he laughs and nods and follows along. ]

Okaaaaaaay. Did you eat too much, Thorns? You were such a glutton earlier. Heheh.

[oversea]

You need exercise.

[ like he is walking a dog...

thorns continues to tug him along until they are outside. it's close to where the actual wedding was held, on a little cliff's edge overlooking the water below. it's a very nice view, with stars over them and the light of ships off in the distance.

there is a railing so they don't drunkenly fall off a cliff and die ]

Here.

[transmit]

[ the way i read this and immediately thought, oh, what if they drunkenly fall off the cliff and die and then i hit the next sentence and cried.

he's pretty sure he works out more than thorns, but fine. when they reach the railing he frowsn. ]

You can't keep doing this.

[ the same tone a child would use mid-tantrum.



and then, because thorns' ear is right there, he bites it. it's not a sexy bite, but like. a chomp. ]

[oversea]

[ yes i knew you would immediately send them over the cliff in the thread where they have chipotle.

BUT OKAY. HE IS GETTING CHOMPED?? thorns whines and tries to bat him away from his ear. that's sensitive. ]

I didn't do anything. You're eating me...

[transmit]

[ THORNS ALREADY DIED ONCE LIKE THIS i can't use it again

why is his food moving… ]

What? Don't play dumb. You ate all my cabbage.

[ that he implicitly offered but he's rethought the decision and is now fighting for his rights. sues thorns. ]

[oversea]

You gave it to me.

[ he sounds a little offended, like he can't think of what else elysium might want to do with cabbage other than give it to thorns? why would he eat it himself??

he bites him back on the shoulder. ]

You're so greedy.

[transmit]

You took it fir—… that's not even what I wanted to talk about! Stop distracting me!

[ clearly eating each other is getting them nowhere, so he takes his hand and

chops thorns' head. timeout. ]

You're doing the thing where you're giving me all the wrong signals again…

[oversea]

I am?

[ oh...

thorn may be too drunk for this conversation, but he will try. ]

I'm just spending time with you.

[transmit]

Couldn't we have just walked around the venue? You didn't have to take me somewhere scenic. These are the kinds of things people save for who they like… if you keep doing this with me, whoever you date in the future is going to want to kill me.

[ he is also too drunk for this. hence. he will just continue to yap and yap and yap. ]

[oversea]

But there isn't going to be anyone...

[ elysium keeps bringing up this future significant other but thorns does not see that remotely happening.

he will take a few steps back from elysium though. ]

We can go walk around the venue.

[transmit]

… I guess being in a relationship isn't everything. But there are things I want to be excludive for the person I end up spending the rest of my life with.

[ sorry.

…

he's just so frustrated by this he grabs thorns' head with both hands and shakes it around. this will continue until either thorns stops him or he dies. ]

Don't take it personally. You're reminding me of my dark history.

[ which involves thorns so it technically is personal but. anyway. who's thinking about that? not him. ]

[oversea]

[ that does actually make thorns snap to attention.

he's right, thorns really has been disrespecting elysium's relationship this entire time. in fact, is it kind of messed up how he just started to spend even more time with him the second he found out he was dating someone? if thorns actually cared, he should have done this ages ago. ]

... right. Yeah, my bad.

[ he steps back again STOP SHAKING HIM. but then thorns just goes behind elysium, placing both hands at the back of his shoulders and he starts to push him forward. ]

Go back to the party. I'm going to stay out here.