chatime | ✧ — peach iced tea.

[ little does he know, they do have kids. they've abandoned every single one of them.

but elysium just sighs and shakes his head… but like flicking a switch, he's immediately into looking around. ]

Oh. Maybe not clothes, but we should get hats if we're going to be working out in the sun.

[ there are cute sunhats… absolutely not intended for physical labour, but elysium places one adorned with ribbon atop thorns' head anyway.

he explodes. his wife is so cute. he needs to explode the bastard version of himself he doesn't deserve a wife and kids everything he did was his fault!!!! ]

[ not the violence against this au... is it better or worse than the one where they become slugs?

thorns just tugs at the hat, testing out how it feels despite it definitely not being meant for work. he's taking it so seriously though. ]

You're right... The sun can really be brutal...

[ he should have had a hat when he was stuck on the flats...... ]

[ bursts into tears it's worse because as slugs they're at least together harmoniously ]

… It's cute, but not very practical. [ he places a hand on thorns' head. ] I'll have to save up to buy it for you.

[ their budget… this is the reality they're in now… forget a diamond ring unless thorns can suddenly transmute gold. ]

We have to make our first date as newlyweds special.

[ they don't even have a wedding date. ]

[ they are truly just ignoring that they aren't actually married.

thorns will go and grab some hats that are, in fact, for work. they are not nearly as cute as the one with the ribbon. ]

Here we go.

[ they are not cute at all. elysium looks forlornly towards the sun hat. the next time they're in this store, he doesn't know it'll already be sold.

he flicks his gaze back to thorns. ]

They'll do, I guess…

[ this is so tepid. ]

[ help

he bring up one of the hats th block he view to them, and he kisses him a little less gently than would be acceptable for a public space. ]

For now.

[ now that's just cheating. there's a quiet noise of surprise before he eases into it—then it becomes more than just a little inappropriate and grounds for being kicked out, but the benefit to being in a small village is

there are no cameras! they can live their stupid exhibitionist life until the shopkeeper asks if they need help? they haven't moved for a while.

elysium pulls away and clears his throat. ]

We are purchasing these.

[ thorns just holds up the hats and then follows after the shopkeeper to the register, acting as if he wasn't just being highly indecent in this lovely establishment.

elysium can follow or take a moment to recover... or rest his ass for a minute... ]

[ he is taking every chance to rest his ass it is no contest. thorns can take his time… he is just casually leaning against one of the walls, as guys do.

it's fine. ]

[ thorns eventually comes back... the shopkeeper threw in free socks for them as thank you for the dinner. thorns owes this person their life you can never have enough nice socks. ]

Hi.

[ smooch. ]

[ they can be cute novelty socks like the ones that hold hands. their whimsy. ]

Welcome back, my sun.

[ he was less than five metres away. stop. he meets thorns' smooch with one of his own; they're out here innocently pretending they wouldn't be willing to bang on one of the display tables if they had the opportunity to.

but he takes out one of the uncute hats to immediately put it on thorns' head. ]

Might as well get into the habit now. Let's be on our way?

[ oh my god they can't work together they're going to be horrific.

but onward! they should also look at general supplies... they can't really afford a cart yet, but maybe they can get the supplies to just build one if it turns out to be cheaper? ]

Let's go in there.

[ they're going to position themselves so they have an unobstructed view of each other at all times you heard it here first.

he seems to follow thorns' train of thought. ]

What if we borrowed or rented an axe? That'd be more economical. There are bound to be a couple laying around that people aren't constantly using. So then we'd just need… screws? Whoever would have an axe is bound to have other tools.

[ this just reminds me of reclamation algorithm which i played for ten minutes then gave up

but oh god they really are in their stardew arc ]

[ he nods his head. everyone in the town at the moment is still thankful to them for the hunt they brought in, so it's probably the best time to try to get some favors in.

they're going to be so cute in their honeymoon era... ]

Mm. We just need to be smart and try to get as much made as possible that we think we'll need. You're so dependable.

[ not the praise

he is such a good husband. he nods while mentally patting his own shoulder. ignore the part where they are literally ready to shank people at any given time, they are the cutest honeymooning couple ever. and the most helpful. ]

Right? I'd never work at a host club. I'd never let us get into a position where we'd starve, either.

[ he's still hung up on this ]

Of course not. No one would be able to afford you anyway.

[ OKAY? how much is thorns imagining that elysium is worth?

well, he's biased, so the number is absurdly high in his mind. ]

You're saying that, but not that I'm priceless?

[ when the price is right, huh. ]

I'm not on the market. Period. Not when you exist. At most, they're getting a cardboard cut-out for whatever number you've got in mind.

[ the things people do to cardboard cutouts though ]

[ this is such a dramatic declaration for a situation that would only happen in another au scenario. they're so stupid. ]

I don't trust them with pictures of you.

[ oh. this story has such a happy ending. elysium pulls thorns aside to hug him to his chest. they are stupid but he is happy… he sways them side to side. ]

I don't think anyone else should have pictures of you, either. Let's keep to ourselves and work hard. That's all we need to do.

[ they are so silly...

but they can buy some lumber and nails, and then get recommended a person they can borrow tools from. there is an older gentleman who does a lot of repairs but he hurt his back recently, so he'd easily let them borrow items if they help him out a bit.

it gives them another in.... ]

[ all that's left is for them to be given dilapidated property and asked to restore it. grow some crops while they're at it? this is already going so well for their first stop.

they never make it to the farm because the gentleman asks if they have anything else planned for the day. they dont. he has unfinished projects in his workshop for them to take a look at—if they're feasible, great! if not, it's fine and he's happy to provide instruction.

it's been a while since he's had apprentices… he starts going off into storytime…

he seems happier the less they know. he's lonely and wants the companionship, it seems. elysium just defers the judgement to thorns? does he still have a squishy heart. ]

[ thorns just nods his head along.

he does still have a squishy heart, but the difference is that he is willing to cut its tendrils and leave if anything inconveniences his relationship with elysium. after giving up his ship, he can now really give up anything. ]

We can help out.

[ they need to save up so much money..... ]

[ i wrote a long ass tag but then i forgot to press send before i lost it TEARS UP

once upon a time, elysium would've dragged thorns into helping without even asking for permission. regardless, it turns out to be a greatly beneficial—not only do they make the guy's day as he proceeds to teach them how to repair chairs with bad legs, they score a free lunch and access to his workshop if they really need it. they seem like good kids? they're such quick learners! wow!

he'll have work sorted out for them the next day if they're amenable. until then, there's an older women who works as an apothecary closer to the outskirts of the village he knows has been having trouble sourcing her herbs recently.

with some pork buns to share as an indicator of his trust, elysium just looks visibly happy about this? it's thorns' strikezone!! ]

[ they are really just going door to door to charm everyone in this village, when they plan on banding them eventually. this is the kind of people they are now...

but thorns just nods his head and comments that they will go check that out. once the man is no longer within earshot, thorns turns to elysium. ]

That'll be simple.

[ he sounds so neutral about this but he is thinking of all the ways he can get herbs ]

[ they are innocently side-questing and doing the work no one wants to. at least for them, the quest rewards are worth it.

he elbows thorns teasingly. ]

Don't skim too much off the top.

[ they may have questionable morals and ethics but these are cute senior citizens ]

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