unless thorns is fully prepared to carry his weight they're going to fall over. he loses all the feelings in his legs. is this how they shoujo kiss…… ]
so. it turns out his limbs aren't as spaghetti as he'd been letting on. if thorns isn't going to dip him, what if he dips thorns instead?
this would be romantic if he weren't inflicting psychic damage on thorns, probably. he is not very skilled, but he's doing his best to emulate thorns' movements while still very drunk. ]
[ latching onto him is so bold when at any given point he can tip over. it would not be surprising if at any point (during many points) thorns has to be the one to resteady him ]
If you're going to keep complaining, you might as well teach me…
[ attempts to dip while pop music is happening. his feet look like he's about to fall over again but that's also because
[ they are going to have so many bruises by the end of this. coincidentally, it's the time of evening where the wedding party is going around to clink glasses. they stop in front of them, teasing how if they knew they were going to be such a riot, they wouldn't have planned for other entertainment. elysium nudges thorns with his elbow, handing him wine swiped from a nearby waiter. ]
You aren't going to live that down, are you? You [ singular you ] have to redeem yourself.
but thorns will give a halfhearted clink of his glass and then start sipping at the wine. the groom asks thorns if he's still a lightweight and thorns says no very confidently. ]
this just prompts the groom to ask the waiter to refill thorns' glass. he asks to cheers again to their supposed redemption arc. don't make this celebration for nothing. ]
thorns drinks this second glass of wine. the first glass was already a mistake because this is going over his limit of being able to handle one and a half wine coolers.
the next slow is slower. thorns listens to it for a second before he wraps an arm around elysium's waist and pulls him closer until their bodies touch. ]
I don't need to practice when I'm already good at it.
[ this is such an annoying thing to say. anyway they can do a slow bachata dance. this is a terrible dance to do for someone who is currently super uncoordinated because it is a lot of foot work and also their bodies are very pressed against each other.
[ whenever people question their friendship they just need to remember they're the same type of annoying during these instances specifically.
so, predictably, he explodes. by some miracle he doesn't trip, though it does mean clinging to thorns a little too much and dragging them into increasingly intimate positions. what is going on with elysium's relationship, people wonder? regardless, they know thorns, and so they're rooting him and his apparent sugar daddy on. when the song ends, elysium drops straight to the floor, face pressed into his knees from how warm his cheeks feel.
and then, as if nothing happened, he springs back up and heads for the table. he needs to drink enough that he won't remember this night whatsoever. thank you. ]
the two glasses of wine are hitting thorns now, unfortunately, so he waddles back to the bar to get another drink there because he has forgotten his plan was to pace himself. he does a shot, chokes slightly on it, and then goes back to the table.
and then immediately gets yoinked by someone to dance with them. he is helplessly dragged away. ]
[ if thorns is out on the dance floor, then who's supposed to rescue elysium at the table?
he's been ambushed by family, two of thorns' younger cousins flanking him, firing questions about his relationship with thorns. no way they’re just friends, right? they're too close, too comfortable, too at ease with each other in ways they aren't with anyone else—at least, in ways they've never seen thorns be with anyone else.
elysium just takes more shots as he insists they've got it all wrong. he's not thorns' type and it would be great if they stopped mentioning it—if not for him, out of respect for thorns considering he's already been rejected. and yes, he's already over him and has a girlfriend…?? the way he says this like he isn't even convinced of it himself. that's his own fuckin lie. but it's like a pin drops and they're all just left staring at each other. wow.
he's not actually sobbing miserably; he somehow manages to look put together and sound firm despite his body composition now being at least a quarter alcohol. but internally? he sure is!
but now the cousins are convinced he's dating to get over thorns. somehow, this is the closest they've ever come to the truth. they have so much pity for him… so much… ]
[ it's fine... the person who takes thorns is not a relative, but a friend of the couple. they are trying to shoot their shot... they ask if thorns is really not dating elysium, and then he just goes on a tangent of his elysium is going to get married to kitten... he sounds so sad when he says he has to come up with a speech. he is so drunk.
when they return to the table, the friend decides they have no chance.
thorns flops against elysium as soon as he's seated. ]
[ he is absurdly proud of the fact that they walked here. so proud, in fact, that he announces it aloud. realistically, once the dance floor opens, what's even left? cake?
he's just about to ask when thorns distracts him with something else. thorns is so funny. he does not know why he finds thorns so funny in this exact moment, but he laughs and nods and follows along. ]
Okaaaaaaay. Did you eat too much, Thorns? You were such a glutton earlier. Heheh.
no subject
unless thorns is fully prepared to carry his weight they're going to fall over. he loses all the feelings in his legs. is this how they shoujo kiss…… ]
no subject
it is how they land on the ground on top of each other though. ]
Elysium...
[ BLAMES HIM. ]
no subject
[ owww. well, as long as he breaks thorns' fall all is well. what's less well— ]
Do it again. I'll be ready for it this time.
[ WITH THE RUINED VIBE? SURE. ]
no subject
[ he gets up to his feet, pulling elysium up with him. ]
The song's over.
[ it is switching to a different one but the vibe is definitely gone now. ]
no subject
[ thus, dip.
so. it turns out his limbs aren't as spaghetti as he'd been letting on. if thorns isn't going to dip him, what if he dips thorns instead?
this would be romantic if he weren't inflicting psychic damage on thorns, probably. he is not very skilled, but he's doing his best to emulate thorns' movements while still very drunk. ]
no subject
thorns just latches onto elysium, like he definitely does not trust him to keep his hold steady. ]
You don't know how to do this.
no subject
If you're going to keep complaining, you might as well teach me…
[ attempts to dip while pop music is happening. his feet look like he's about to fall over again but that's also because
he's starting to get kind of dizzy? whoops. ]
no subject
well. thorns is going to try to scramble to get back to his feet, but that probably makes it worse?
down they go again. this is so embarrassing. ]
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he just stares. ]
Thorns…
[ in the same cadence thorns had used earlier. ]
You aren't very good at this either.
no subject
and then moves to get up, once again pulling elysium up with him. ]
And whose fault is that? It's like dancing with a toddler.
no subject
[ they are going to have so many bruises by the end of this. coincidentally, it's the time of evening where the wedding party is going around to clink glasses. they stop in front of them, teasing how if they knew they were going to be such a riot, they wouldn't have planned for other entertainment. elysium nudges thorns with his elbow, handing him wine swiped from a nearby waiter. ]
You aren't going to live that down, are you? You [ singular you ] have to redeem yourself.
no subject
[ he will k*ll you
but thorns will give a halfhearted clink of his glass and then start sipping at the wine. the groom asks thorns if he's still a lightweight and thorns says no very confidently. ]
no subject
[ which makes it even more thorns' fault. hello.
this just prompts the groom to ask the waiter to refill thorns' glass. he asks to cheers again to their supposed redemption arc. don't make this celebration for nothing. ]
no subject
thorns drinks this second glass of wine. the first glass was already a mistake because this is going over his limit of being able to handle one and a half wine coolers.
he turns towards elysium. ]
This is your last shot.
no subject
My last shot? It's yours. Heheh…
[ sways
this bodes so well ]
no subject
the next slow is slower. thorns listens to it for a second before he wraps an arm around elysium's waist and pulls him closer until their bodies touch. ]
Don't fall.
no subject
good thing! he's wasted! he stumbles slightly but manages to brace himself on thorns' shoulders. ]
When do you find the time to practice like this, huh…?
[ NO ONE TO MARRY HIS ASS!!!!! ]
no subject
[ this is such an annoying thing to say. anyway they can do a slow bachata dance. this is a terrible dance to do for someone who is currently super uncoordinated because it is a lot of foot work and also their bodies are very pressed against each other.
die. ]
no subject
so, predictably, he explodes. by some miracle he doesn't trip, though it does mean clinging to thorns a little too much and dragging them into increasingly intimate positions. what is going on with elysium's relationship, people wonder? regardless, they know thorns, and so they're rooting him and his apparent sugar daddy on. when the song ends, elysium drops straight to the floor, face pressed into his knees from how warm his cheeks feel.
and then, as if nothing happened, he springs back up and heads for the table. he needs to drink enough that he won't remember this night whatsoever. thank you. ]
no subject
the two glasses of wine are hitting thorns now, unfortunately, so he waddles back to the bar to get another drink there because he has forgotten his plan was to pace himself. he does a shot, chokes slightly on it, and then goes back to the table.
and then immediately gets yoinked by someone to dance with them. he is helplessly dragged away. ]
no subject
he's been ambushed by family, two of thorns' younger cousins flanking him, firing questions about his relationship with thorns. no way they’re just friends, right? they're too close, too comfortable, too at ease with each other in ways they aren't with anyone else—at least, in ways they've never seen thorns be with anyone else.
elysium just takes more shots as he insists they've got it all wrong. he's not thorns' type and it would be great if they stopped mentioning it—if not for him, out of respect for thorns considering he's already been rejected. and yes, he's already over him and has a girlfriend…?? the way he says this like he isn't even convinced of it himself. that's his own fuckin lie. but it's like a pin drops and they're all just left staring at each other. wow.
he's not actually sobbing miserably; he somehow manages to look put together and sound firm despite his body composition now being at least a quarter alcohol. but internally? he sure is!
but now the cousins are convinced he's dating to get over thorns. somehow, this is the closest they've ever come to the truth. they have so much pity for him… so much… ]
no subject
when they return to the table, the friend decides they have no chance.
thorns flops against elysium as soon as he's seated. ]
You're drunk.
no subject
No I'm not. [ stands up. he almost knocks them both over again. ] I'm your chaperone. I gotta… gotta get you home!
no subject
thorns just nods, but he also stands up. ]
Let's take a walk.
[ they can go outside and get fresh air... ]
no subject
he's just about to ask when thorns distracts him with something else. thorns is so funny. he does not know why he finds thorns so funny in this exact moment, but he laughs and nods and follows along. ]
Okaaaaaaay. Did you eat too much, Thorns? You were such a glutton earlier. Heheh.
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