chatime | ✧ — peach iced tea.

[ wanting to put each other in sexy uniforms is so funny when they've both been historically terrible at larp. in a fire emblem game, everyone would assign thorns as their sexy dancer… when does elysium get to assign him as a sexy dancer.

but elysium won't argue against it; the less they grow attached to any one place or job, the easier it'll be to move on when they have to or want to. he would know. but as he guides them toward a stream, his mood perceptibly shifts. he perks up. ]

… These look like tracks from a burdenbeast. [ personally cries. as in i, ly, cries. but that's what the game tells me they eat… ] Think you handle taking one back?

[ what happened to not overachieving. okay. ]

[ you can be smart for one minute and then decide against remaining smart the next.

unsurprisingly, thorns nods, already not thinking about being careful about what they're carrying back. look, it's fine, he is super confident even when there is no reason to be so confident about this. ]

Of course. Try not to throw out your back.

[ says the guy who literally had to be carried because of his ass ]

[ they're going to end up with a mega party where the people they'd turned down earlier for drinks will have to show up so the couple isn't saddled with an infinite amount of leftovers. ]

But I'm no good at anything. [ he is! such! a lil guy!! ] I thought the whole point of this excursion was you showing me how cool you are?

[ wow it's like he suddenly doesn't know where he's going ]

[ okay.

he reaches over to pinch him annoyingly. ]

It would be rude if I don't offer. I don't want to assume my wife can't do anything.

[ that is such a stereotype. :/ ]

[ sorry.

he just stops and takes thorns' other hand in his so he can cutely swing both their hands their hands together. ]

Hmm. I'm no good at anything here, but I'll do my best at taking care of you once everything is said and done? Give you a massage in the bath?

[ he isn't actually going to be this useless he just wants to see how much he can theoretically get away with… annoying ]

[ he opens his mouth to respond.

... and then pauses as he realizes something. ]

Do you think we'll have a bath?

[ they didn't actually get a good look at where they'd be staying. forced to shower. ]

[

he's going to strangle thorns. ]

For the intents and purposes of this conversation, we do.

[ this is not how it works. ]

[ sorry it is difficult getting immersed in this scenario when he can't confirm the bath situation, but he'll do his best anyway... ]

Okay. Shouldn't I be washing your back though?

[ delicate people get sweaty more easily... there is no science here he is making it up. ]

[ it is both cute and deeply aggravating that thorns is like this… ]

Are you trying to take every job for me?

[ thorns like i will be husband AND wife which is what they've already been doing, but like. no. ]

[ elysium is so cute and whiny... ]

Hm, okay. Tell me that you really want to do it.

(thorns voice) beg ]

[ how to determine francy's character type: if they get off on seeing their significant other on their proverbial knees

elysium purses his mouth and stops swaying their arms. his fingers brush the back of thorns' hands. he looks soooo sad. he droops. ]

If you want to go straight to bed tonight, I understand. It's been a long day, and a longer journey.

[ THIS IS SUCH SLANDER

also not elysium refusing to beg. good for him, we love a man who remembers he actually has standards. thorns just swings their arms in retaliation. ]

Oh. Is that what you want? Since I asked what you wanted...

[ all the men and women i know you play are like this

thorns is about to learn what happens when you spoil your not!wife too much. elysium will allow the swinging… what the fuck happened to hunting. ]

I get it. You were trying to let me down easy. You always give me want I want otherwise… I should be more considerate of you.

[ :beegun:

they have already forgotten why they are in the literal wilderness. they need a chaperone so bad.

thorns goes quiet for a few seconds. ]

You can wash me...

[ lmao ]

Is that what you really want?

[ he is smiling so purely there is nothing nefarious at all about what he'd just done ]

[ he does not like where this is going because he doesn't know what direction that is.

... ]

... I decided I am going to focus on keeping you well fed.

[ he got the uno reverse off and that's all that matters to him… they really do need a chaperone to make sure they behave.

but he tightens his grip to make sure thorns doesn't escape, leaning forward to peck him on the mouth. ]

I love you. Heheh. Let's keep you well fed, too.

You really are mean to me.

[ thorns is mean to him often.

but he will pull elysium closer!!!! it is harder to walk this way but they can suffer stumbling a bit because he needs elysium to remember that he is his and this is all so rude.

there are some fresh tracks ahead. ]

Whaaaaat? You're the one who's not saying you love me back.

[ he's all lilt and good humour right up until he isn't. when thorns pulls him close and almost pressed flush, he leans in the rest of the distance with a nip at his ear and a murmur that sinks low. ]

Who's the one who wanted who to beg first?

[ what tracks ]

[ they're going to get jumped by some random animal here and it'll be their own fault.

thorns still thinks this is bullying. his hand slips under elysium's top so that his fingers can dig into his skin. they probably shouldn't be doing this, given they have no idea if other villagers may be passing through here, but that's fine. ]

I just wanted you to tell me what you wanted, my love.

[ it's bullying, yes, but it is justified bullying. thorns started it first. even the crunching of steps in the distance isn't enough to pull elysium's focus away. it sounds like some wild animal, judging by the rhythm of its sound; if it knows what's good for it, it won't make them its problem. ]

Ooh… So you don't want to hear me talk about how much I want you to use me tonight. Gotcha.

[ how did it go from massages to this. ]

[ this is such an escalation. thorns is also ignoring the noise, the reason of them being here a much lower priority than whatever is happening right now.

elysium deserves to hang upside down so much right now. ]

Do you hate me?

[ they are currently known as the very cute and very in love couple who went through it all in order to be together. don't ruin it for them, thorns… tehre are people they have convinced that love is real. ]

How could I hate you? [ he brushes another kiss over thorns' mouth, lingering close enough so his breath fans against it. ] You're my everything.

[ if they want to be technical the very reason they're here to begin with is to be together. it only makes sense that this is their priority right now? maybe there's someone in this village that will be able to help them; this is just not right. ]

It's not fair that you got to feel every part of me. [ is voice takes on the faintest whine as he impatiently presses a leg between thorns'. there's that friction; he has to fight the smug smile threatening to bloom. ] I want to feel you, too, Thorns.

[ surprise. it's his begging. a branch snaps in the distance, now. this is about to be interrupted and he knows it……… ]

[ this is such brat behavior

thorns ignore the sound, which is definitely one of the things they teach you not to do when you're hunting in the woods. instead he just presses more against elysium and, in turn, his knee. he shifts so that his mouth can nibble on elysium's ear. ]

You are so needy. I'll do whatever you want.

[ he's a brat i wish i could tell you he isn't.

but he resigns himself to this on day one of their supposed return to society, knowing full well they don't have any more privacy here than they did before hitching the ride back to it. the path they're on now is comparatively well-kept, likely by hunters from the village.

obviously they'd know better than to go out today. obviously, obviously. ]

You get off on me being desperate. Why do you think I'm like this?

[ a larger burdenbeast pokes its nose through bushes. it's not walking towards them exactly, but it's padding along their periphery. are they ignoring prey that's basically approached them rather than the other way around…?

… ]

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