If you don't let me pamper you, you won't be able to.
[ he is still dead set on his mission to make them the most codependent couple in existence. never mind they've already cut every other important person and thing to them, they can always go
he cannot believe this. weren't they just talking about how deeply unwell and obsessed they are with each other? and now they're here? thorns will not stand for this. ]
[ he's going to look so edgy by the time they're done he can join thorns' band.
but he realises thorns is not seeing the real concern here so maybe they can pretend there is no concern…? it really would be so much easier if he did them himself but thorns seemed so distraught about it. this is going to be a real test of love.
very reluctantly, he hands the box back over… thorns will have to pry it a little from his fingers. ]
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[ he is still dead set on his mission to make them the most codependent couple in existence. never mind they've already cut every other important person and thing to them, they can always go
deeper.
faust and mephisto would be jealous. ]
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[ the way he is erasing that they once lived normal lives not dating each other.
he sniffs. ]
I guess we don't divorce then.
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[ this isn't a divorce. ]
But it's a pretty flawed plan to start. Too many people would get ideas…
[ he's like. one episode away from outright killing a love rival. it's better they don't get there. ]
Can you lay on your back with your head towards the water?
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[ elysium just doesn't know it because he is unaware of the subplot where he had a crazy stalker. but thorns remembers. it haunts him.
but anyway, he will follow the directions. ]
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[ logic
but as he washes the foam away, a frown forms. ]
… This is going to take getting used to, and I haven't even gotten to cutting yet…
[ thinks about how he doesn't have scissors so he's going to have to use a sword for this
cool ]
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but thorns has no idea what he looks like at the moment. ]
Is it so bad you'll fall out of love with me?
[ things that can happen maybe? ]
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[ why does he sound so unsure. ]
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Say that again but without the 'probably' this time.
[ he'll end it all in this thread too but in this one there is a chance of it being /srs and not /jk ]
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[ THORNS YOU ARE GETTING DYE SUDS EVERYWHERE he flails and tries to shove him back down. ]
What are you doing?! I'm not done with you yet!!
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but he's still squinting suspiciously up at elysium. ]
Say it again.
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You lost points just now.
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he cannot believe this. weren't they just talking about how deeply unwell and obsessed they are with each other? and now they're here? thorns will not stand for this. ]
I can't lose points.
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he awkwardly pats his shoulder with his arm since his hands are wet… ]
If you behave you can have them back. [ this is not a tall ask, he thinks!! ] I'm almost done.
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he will remember this. ]
This is taking a while.
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though elysium would also get pretty insane if the situation were in reverse. anyway. ]
That's why I said I could do mine myself. You're already so impatient… If we miss a spot or the colour's uneven, that defeats the whole purpose.
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[ also if elysium has a random spot of white somewhere it would build character he thinks.
... the way this would be way more of a dramatic change than thorns just going brown. he is not thinking about it.
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but the dye is a light brown… cute, maybe, but impossible to judge properly while it's still drying. they'll have to hold their verdict until later. ]
… I'll love you no matter how this turns out and whether you decide to shave your head bald. But if you mess mine up on purpose, I won't forgive you.
[ he says it so, so seriously, clutching the box to his chest after swiping it from thorns' hands. ]
You have to make sure to get my feathers…
[ shakes ]
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thorns sobers up at the mention of them. he loves those feathers so much. ]
I wouldn't mess those up. They're mine.
[ they are his heart... ]
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but he realises thorns is not seeing the real concern here so maybe they can pretend there is no concern…? it really would be so much easier if he did them himself but thorns seemed so distraught about it. this is going to be a real test of love.
very reluctantly, he hands the box back over… thorns will have to pry it a little from his fingers. ]
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they struggle for a second over this box until thorns manages to yank it out of his hands. he is starting to get offended over this lack of trust. ]
I'm not going to sabotage your hair. I don't want you to be too embarrassed to walk outside with me.
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the return of thorns' bbbb… ]
Mm…
[ the sound of a man who will believe it when he sees it ]
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thorns sits up again to squish elysium's cheeks.... ]
Baby.
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[ he pinches thorns' cheek back. he's allowed to mourn his beautiful and todo natural tri-coloured hair, okay.
but also fear for the next half hour of his life. ]
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[ he says this but like
elysium would end up suffering from that as well. he can't win from this. ]
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You could've at least picked something that'd make me feel better…
[ just put him out of his misery ]
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