[ like he genuinely cannot think of a situation where elysium wouldn't say yes if thorns just asked him to?
if he doesn't come back immediately he will jump to panicking like he does any time elysium says anything that could even slightly resemble a breakup. ]
If you don't let me pamper you, you won't be able to.
[ he is still dead set on his mission to make them the most codependent couple in existence. never mind they've already cut every other important person and thing to them, they can always go
he cannot believe this. weren't they just talking about how deeply unwell and obsessed they are with each other? and now they're here? thorns will not stand for this. ]
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thorns huffs, not sure why elysium changed his mind so fast. ]
I can do it...
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[ he works the lather in extra firmly. ]
I'm working too…
[ still only into being the housewife if it's larp, ]
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[ this is definitely the wrong response to have after that kind of accusation, but he still says it.
thorns imagine him with all red hair... wow.... ]
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he scowls and snacks thorns' head again because he can. ]
You want me to file for divorce?
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If we divorce, we can get married again after.
[ two weddings wow. this is unwell. ]
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Have you forgotten you'd have to to win me back? How are you going to do that?
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[ like he genuinely cannot think of a situation where elysium wouldn't say yes if thorns just asked him to?
if he doesn't come back immediately he will jump to panicking like he does any time elysium says anything that could even slightly resemble a breakup. ]
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[ he is still dead set on his mission to make them the most codependent couple in existence. never mind they've already cut every other important person and thing to them, they can always go
deeper.
faust and mephisto would be jealous. ]
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[ the way he is erasing that they once lived normal lives not dating each other.
he sniffs. ]
I guess we don't divorce then.
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[ this isn't a divorce. ]
But it's a pretty flawed plan to start. Too many people would get ideas…
[ he's like. one episode away from outright killing a love rival. it's better they don't get there. ]
Can you lay on your back with your head towards the water?
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[ elysium just doesn't know it because he is unaware of the subplot where he had a crazy stalker. but thorns remembers. it haunts him.
but anyway, he will follow the directions. ]
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[ logic
but as he washes the foam away, a frown forms. ]
… This is going to take getting used to, and I haven't even gotten to cutting yet…
[ thinks about how he doesn't have scissors so he's going to have to use a sword for this
cool ]
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but thorns has no idea what he looks like at the moment. ]
Is it so bad you'll fall out of love with me?
[ things that can happen maybe? ]
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[ why does he sound so unsure. ]
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Say that again but without the 'probably' this time.
[ he'll end it all in this thread too but in this one there is a chance of it being /srs and not /jk ]
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[ THORNS YOU ARE GETTING DYE SUDS EVERYWHERE he flails and tries to shove him back down. ]
What are you doing?! I'm not done with you yet!!
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but he's still squinting suspiciously up at elysium. ]
Say it again.
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You lost points just now.
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he cannot believe this. weren't they just talking about how deeply unwell and obsessed they are with each other? and now they're here? thorns will not stand for this. ]
I can't lose points.
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he awkwardly pats his shoulder with his arm since his hands are wet… ]
If you behave you can have them back. [ this is not a tall ask, he thinks!! ] I'm almost done.
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he will remember this. ]
This is taking a while.
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though elysium would also get pretty insane if the situation were in reverse. anyway. ]
That's why I said I could do mine myself. You're already so impatient… If we miss a spot or the colour's uneven, that defeats the whole purpose.
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[ also if elysium has a random spot of white somewhere it would build character he thinks.
... the way this would be way more of a dramatic change than thorns just going brown. he is not thinking about it.
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but the dye is a light brown… cute, maybe, but impossible to judge properly while it's still drying. they'll have to hold their verdict until later. ]
… I'll love you no matter how this turns out and whether you decide to shave your head bald. But if you mess mine up on purpose, I won't forgive you.
[ he says it so, so seriously, clutching the box to his chest after swiping it from thorns' hands. ]
You have to make sure to get my feathers…
[ shakes ]
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thorns sobers up at the mention of them. he loves those feathers so much. ]
I wouldn't mess those up. They're mine.
[ they are his heart... ]
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