If that's what it takes to get you to not look at other people.
[ the way elysium doesn't know about the time elysium lost his mind and had sex with him out in the open on his ship. but also the way that thorns is not aware that happened because elysium was having a minor breakdown and he just thought elysium was being extra h*rny ]
Do you know how big the bald spot would be? [ spoken like thorns has his priorities all wrong because HE DOES!! ] That's the bigger problem.
[ anyway, this is debatably worse considering elysium's the only one who knows about thorns' particular incident. and a bald spot? so much harder to hide. either way, he ushers thorns down by the stream, tearing open the package and squinting at the instructions.
hmm… he has not thought to use dye before but it should be fine… ]
… I should probably give us haircuts while I'm at it.
[ he runs another hand through thorns' hair. he sounds so melancholic. ]
I can always shave all my hair off it it's easier.
[ stop trying to go bald just because it's easier.
thorns will pick up the other dye to read the instructions. why is this so much mixing... wait, that might be fun. this is the closest he will get to experimenting in a while. ]
I have to. It's not within the budget to buy a new one.
[ the way this implies that the only reason he will follow the instructions is because they need to be careful about their finances at the moment. otherwise elysium's hair would explode. ]
[ like he genuinely cannot think of a situation where elysium wouldn't say yes if thorns just asked him to?
if he doesn't come back immediately he will jump to panicking like he does any time elysium says anything that could even slightly resemble a breakup. ]
If you don't let me pamper you, you won't be able to.
[ he is still dead set on his mission to make them the most codependent couple in existence. never mind they've already cut every other important person and thing to them, they can always go
no subject
[ the way elysium doesn't know about the time elysium lost his mind and had sex with him out in the open on his ship. but also the way that thorns is not aware that happened because elysium was having a minor breakdown and he just thought elysium was being extra h*rny ]
... Should I wear less for you?
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he stares at thorns… and takes his time with it, as if this requires serious consideration… ]
You're a married man. What do you think?
[ what is this supposed to mean. ]
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but thorns also considers this question, like it's something very important? well, if it involved elysium in any way, then it is important. ]
I should wear more.
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It's good not to get sunburnt.
[ his turn to be animal crossing flowers. they are such simple creatures. ]
We should get started on the dye. It's getting dark, so you'll probably have to help with a few lights when it does.
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since it's like
three colors. elysium your hair. ]
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[ red part included…… but he isn't really thinking about that.
he runs his hand through thorns' hair, tucking it behind his ear. ]
But we'll have to bleach yours a little, and that's where most the time goes.
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he just stares at the lil tuft in early mourning. oh, how you never know how good you had it until it's gone... ]
Okay. Let's get this over with.
[ thorns doesn't care about his own hair but... his beautiful pigeon... ]
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[ just
leans his whole head forward ]
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thorns does reach over to grab the strands and pulls.
but not enough to actually take any hair out. ]
Masochist.
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[ he just laughs and lets out a very pathetic ow. ]
You never do. You're too nice.
[ that and elysium would never forgive him… ]
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he twirls the hair around his finger. ]
It seems like it'd hurt.
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[ anyway, this is debatably worse considering elysium's the only one who knows about thorns' particular incident. and a bald spot? so much harder to hide. either way, he ushers thorns down by the stream, tearing open the package and squinting at the instructions.
hmm… he has not thought to use dye before but it should be fine… ]
… I should probably give us haircuts while I'm at it.
[ he runs another hand through thorns' hair. he sounds so melancholic. ]
no subject
[ stop trying to go bald just because it's easier.
thorns will pick up the other dye to read the instructions. why is this so much mixing... wait, that might be fun. this is the closest he will get to experimenting in a while. ]
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[ shoots off the practical reason ]
I'd ask if you want to do mine, but I'm kind of scared……
[ … ]
You'll follow the instructions, right…?
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[ the way this implies that the only reason he will follow the instructions is because they need to be careful about their finances at the moment. otherwise elysium's hair would explode. ]
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never mind. ]
I can do it myself.
[ he begins foaming up thorns' hair, lathering it well into his roots. it'll feel tingly. ]
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thorns huffs, not sure why elysium changed his mind so fast. ]
I can do it...
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[ he works the lather in extra firmly. ]
I'm working too…
[ still only into being the housewife if it's larp, ]
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[ this is definitely the wrong response to have after that kind of accusation, but he still says it.
thorns imagine him with all red hair... wow.... ]
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he scowls and snacks thorns' head again because he can. ]
You want me to file for divorce?
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If we divorce, we can get married again after.
[ two weddings wow. this is unwell. ]
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Have you forgotten you'd have to to win me back? How are you going to do that?
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[ like he genuinely cannot think of a situation where elysium wouldn't say yes if thorns just asked him to?
if he doesn't come back immediately he will jump to panicking like he does any time elysium says anything that could even slightly resemble a breakup. ]
no subject
[ he is still dead set on his mission to make them the most codependent couple in existence. never mind they've already cut every other important person and thing to them, they can always go
deeper.
faust and mephisto would be jealous. ]
no subject
[ the way he is erasing that they once lived normal lives not dating each other.
he sniffs. ]
I guess we don't divorce then.
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